Couple conversation starters create bonding, connection and vulnerability.
You’ll learn interesting things about your partner that you wish you knew sooner. From fun facts to deep secrets, these prompts help reveal everything lost in small talk.
To have the best conversation with your partner, keep reading to discover 141 best couple conversation starts.
What Are Couple Conversation Starters?
Couple conversation starts are prompts you can use to open up a discussion. Whether you’re in a new partnership or one that’s lasted decades, using couple conversation starters is a good way to connect. You can shove aside small talk and talk about much deeper topics. In this, you’ll learn more about your partner. You’ll get to know more about them, how they think, feel and how they process the world around them. Couple conversation starters can also help you learn things you need to know about your partner. Before going any further, there’s things you might need to know about your partner. For example, their views on kids, moral values or religion. Although you may not have thought to discuss these topics beforehand, these prompts can help bring up the important questions.
Couple conversation starters create bonding experiences. They’re also great to use when it feels like you have nothing to talk about anymore.
Communication skills are critical for a good relationship. By practicing this skill, you’ll be better able to use it when there’s tough conversations to be had. Using couple conversation starters frequently can help create vulnerability and bring you closer to your partner. This can also help you develop more empathy, causing you to be gentler during arguments when you consider their perspective.
An interesting fact: Research shows people enjoy deep conversations with strangers. So imagine how much you’ll enjoy deep conversation starts with your partner!
How to Use Couple Conversation Starters
How should you use couple conversation starters?
The first thing to know is that you should be taking turns. If it’s one-sided and only one person is answering the prompts, it’s more of an interview than a conversation. Decide whether both you and your partner should answer the same prompt. Or will you choose different prompts for each other?
Keep in mind, it’s a good idea to start off with “easy” prompts before getting deeper. For example, conversation starters about movies are good to use before asking about their insecurities. This gives them time to “warm up” before getting vulnerable.
After that, you can choose how to use the couple conversation starters.
- Read off list. Print these questions out and simply choose which to ask each other. Hand the paper to your partner when it’s their turn to choose a question.
- Make flashcards. Write the prompts on flashcards or print them and cut them into cards. Shuffle the cards and randomly choose which to ask each other.
- Computerized picker. To pick a prompt at random, enter all the questions on a computerized picker. Out of your list of couple conversation starters, the website will randomly pick one. You can repeat this for each prompt you ask, going back and forth between partners.
141 Couple Conversation Starters
Here are the best couple conversation starters to use to learn more about your partner and bring them closer. We’ve grouped these prompts into different categories to give your discussion an interesting variety of topics.
Warm-Up Couple Conversation Starters
Use these couple conversation starters to warm up and create a fun environment before getting too deep.
- What’s your favorite movie?
- What’s your least favorite movie?
- Do you like watching documentaries?
- Have you ever cried while watching a movie?
- Is there any song that makes you cry?
- What’s your average screen time per week?
- What’s your favorite novel?
- Do you read any non-fiction books? About what?
- Would you ever go on a reality show? Which one?
- Do you think social media has made life better or worse?
- You can only live the rest of your life with one device. Which would you choose?
- If you had to eat one meal forever, what would it be?
- If you were on death row, what would be your last meal?
- What’s your favorite dessert?
- What food do you hate?
- What’s your favorite snack?
- Do you have any allergies?
- Who was your favorite teacher in school? Why?
- Who was your least favorite teacher in school? Why?
Family Couple Conversation Starters
Learn more about your partner’s family with these specially-picked family couple conversation starters.
- Who in the world do you love the most?
- Would you ever get a pet/more pets?
- Do you have a favorite parent?
- How’s your relationship with your mom?
- How’s your relationship with your dad?
- How’s your relationship with your siblings?
- Do you think your parents tried their best?
- What was the hardest thing about your childhood?
- What was the best thing about your childhood?
- Were your parents loving toward you?
- If you want a family, what does the ideal family look like to you?
- If you were a parent, would you play good cop or bad cop?
- If you were a parent, what would you do differently than your parents?
- If you could pass one trait onto your future kids, what would it be?
Opinions & Values Couple Conversation Starters
Opinions and values can be ignored in the beginning but when a relationship gets serious, their morals can be a make or break. Probe their values with these couple conversation starters below.
- What do you think about abortion?
- What do you think about gay rights?
- What do you think about trans rights?
- What do you think about women’s rights?
- What do you think about Black Lives Matter?
- Do you believe in gender roles?
- Are there any causes you’re passionate about?
- What’s the last fund or cause you donated to?
- Have you ever attended a protest? For what?
- Do you have a favorite politician?
- Do you have a least favorite politician?
- Would you describe yourself as more of a Republican or Democrat? Why?
- If you ran for president and won, what would you change?
- What’s your most controversial opinion?
- What an opinion that, if your partner held, you couldn’t be with them?
- Have you ever become educated on a topic that’s changed your opinion? If so, what?
- Which of my firmly-held opinions do you disagree with?
- If you experienced someone saying something racist, sexist or homophobic, would you stand up? How?
Are you religious or spiritual?
- Do you believe in reincarnation?
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- Do you think people can be psychic?
- Do you believe in soulmates?
- Do you believe in aliens?
- How do you think life started?
- How do you think the world will end?
Introspective, Deep Couple Conversation Starters
What does your partner think about themselves and the world around them? Dive deeper with these couple conversation starters.
- Tell me about your first breakup.
- Tell me about your hardest heartbreak.
- How do you deal with losing someone you love?
- How soon is too soon to say “I love you”?
- What’s something about yourself that you wish I knew?
- What takes you out of your comfort zone?
- How often do you lie?
- What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?
- What’s something that changed you as a person?
- What’s something about yourself that you’ve never told anyone?
- Without telling me, do you have any secrets you’d never tell anyone? Why?
- Are there any habits you wish you could enforce in your routine?
- What are your bad habits?
- What drugs have you tried? What were your experiences?
- Is it easier for you to give or receive?
- Do you find it hard to apologize?
- What’s your biggest accomplishment so far?
- Tell me about the hardest time in your life.
- Tell me about the biggest mistake you’ve made.
- Is there an apology you still owe someone? Who?
- Tell me about your perfect day.
- You’re given one year to live. What would you do.
- Imagine you won the lottery. How would you spend it?
- Tell me about the nicest thing you’ve done for someone else.
- What’s something you’d like to get better at?
- Imagine a crystal ball can answer one question about your future. What would you ask?
- How do you think other people describe you?
- What misconception do people have about you?
- What’s something that makes you raging angry?
- Tell me about something you’re struggling with right now.
- Who are you the most honest with?
- When’s the last time you cried?
- What makes you most emotional?
- What’s your love language?
- How were you different from the person you were as a teenager?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What are you self-conscious about?
- Are you happy with your personality?
- What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
- Have you ever been in trouble with the law?
- Do you have any health conditions I don’t know about?
- On a scale from 1 to 10, how’s your mental health?
- What are you most grateful for?
- What’s your favorite hobby?
- What’s your favorite way to relax and unwind?
- What do you think is your purpose in life?
About Us Couple Conversation Starters
What are your partner’s thoughts about you together as a couple? Use these couple conversation starters to learn more about the relationship from their perspective.
- Try to read my mind right now. What am I thinking?
- What’s something you’re afraid to ask me?
- When in the past have I worried you?
- What’s something I said that hurt you?
- What’s something I said that you loved?
- What do you think we should do more of as a couple?
- What would you like to change about us as a couple?
- What’s your favorite thing about me?
- What’s your favorite thing about us, together, as a couple?
- How would we split chores? What chores would you prefer doing? Which would you hate doing?
- What turns you on most about me?
- So far, what’s the best time we’ve spent together?
- Until now, what’s the best date we’ve been on?
- What new date night idea would you like to try together?
- Name our biggest 3 differences.
- Consider the statement “opposites attract.” Do we fit into that phrase?
- What do you think keeps a relationship “alive”?
- Where’s a place you’d like to visit together?
- When you’re sad or upset, what can I do to make it better?
- What could we do to make our relationship even better?
- What could I do to better support you?
- Where do you think we’ll be 10 years from now?
Sex Couple Conversation Starters
- It can be hard to talk about sex, but it’s important to many couples. Learn about your sex life through each other’s perspective with these sex couple conversation starters.
What does an ideal sex life look like to you?
- How important is sex to you?
- What do you like most in bed?
- Do you think you’re an affectionate person?
- What sexual acts or things are a no-no for you?
- Is there somewhere new you’d like to have sex?
- What non-sexual thing turns you on?
- What’s your favorite part of my body?
- What time of day is the best time to have sex?
- Which is better: Fast or slow?
- What’s your favorite position?
- What’s your least favorite position?
- What makes you have the best orgasm?
- Are there any kinks you have that I don’t know about?
- If I could dress up as anything in bed, what would you choose?
Summary: Couple Conversation Starters
These couple conversation starters are great to use to improve bonding between yourself and your partner. Small talk can only take you so far. Big talk helps you learn about your partner, their thoughts and how they feel about the world. Opening up and being vulnerable on the more difficult topics can also bring you closer together.
Couple conversation starters play another role too: They tell you things you need to know going forward. You might discover an aspect of your partner that you’ll have to consider for your future.