Going no contact can be really hard, especially when we’re used to seeing someone so often.
But as difficult as it can be, it’s important to keep our word to ourselves. That’s because if we’ve broken up, we probably have for a reason. Whether we’re thinking of taking them back or asking why for the 10th time, it’s probably better left unsaid.
Knowing that doesn’t make it any easier though.
We’re going to help you out a little bit.
Here are 15 things to do when you want to text your ex.
Having trouble not texting your ex? Here’s some things you can do instead.
Almost everyone has good things about them and being realistic about it is important. However, sometimes we need to lean more on the negative side to help ourselves see the reality.
Take a moment to try to just focus on your partner’s negative attributes. That could be:
Make a list on the notes app in your phone. Every time you want to text your ex, you have a long list of reasons not to.
Also, realize this list also represents that you can eventually find somebody better suited to you. But you won’t if you keep texting your ex back!
If you just broke up with your ex, it’s probably not a great idea to get back out there right away. Taking time to process the breakup and heal is a good thing.
All of this doesn’t mean you can’t window shop though. If you want to remain anonymous, you can. Some apps, like Plenty of Fish, don’t need to show your location or be connected to your social media. You can use an ambiguous picture too if you don’t want to put yourself out there just yet.
Browsing your other options can make you realize that there’s more out there. You don’t need to message anyone but simply use it as a reminder that you can do better.
If you just can’t get off your phone because you want to be there the moment they text you *if* they ever do—focus your energy elsewhere.
Download a new phone game. If you’re stuck on what to try, here’s 23 Addictive Mobile Games. Need some inspiration? If you hit the leaderboard, I will allow you to send your ex ONE text. Ok, GO!
If you always texted your ex, the sudden change of nobody to text can be hard to deal with. Like your person has just been ripped from you and you’re alone.
While it won’t solve it, having another person to text can soften the blow. You can ask a person to be your designated texting breakup buddy. Or you can just begin texting them more and go with the flow.
If you don’t have anyone in your life, you can use the Bumble BFF feature on the Bumble app.
Give yourself an imaginary unlimited budget and hit up all of your favorite online stores. Add to your wish list in case you want to buy later.
Meditate can seem like an excoriating thing—why would you want to be stuck with your thoughts? But the truth is, meditating actually changes our brain. It rewires the way we think.
When this happens, we’re better able to control our thoughts. That means the constant battle to text your ex may subside more quickly.
If you want to text your ex, it’s probably because you’re n the feels. So get those feels out another way.
Find a song that you can relate to. Something that speaks clearly to how you feel or your situation. Put it on blast and sing, dance around, scream in your pillow, anything. Put it on repeat if you need to.
One time, when I when I was really upset about a guy, I walked 16 miles home and I felt a lot better afterwards. There’s something about movement that just makes you forget about things a little bit. Oh yeah, maybe it’s those feel-good endorphins exercise releases.
I moved into my first basement apartment with my ex. When we broke up, my landlord came down while I was baking some cupcakes.
“Do you usually bake when you’re sad? I do that too!” he said.
It’s not fun, but if the result is a clean home or room, you’ll feel a lot better. Hard to text when you have a spray bottle in one hand and paper towel in the other.
To make it less agonizing, put on a podcast or eBook. Even though you might feel sad, you’ll at least get the feeling you’re progressing.
I’m not saying this is a permanent solution—of course it’s not. But binging a show or a snack can get your head out of the rhythm of contemplating whether to text them.
When my nails are done, I just feel a bit better about myself. But also, I text less because I don’t want to screw up the paint and start at layer one. That’s literally one of the most annoying things ever.
Okay, you really can’t stop yourself, can you? Then get it out. Write what you want to say to them. Say it all. But write it in a text message to yourself. This lets you get out everything you need to without breaking no contact.
If you’ve dated a few people, there’s probably other people you stopped talking to, which was sad at the time. But now, it doesn’t matter that much to you.
Online stalking them can remind you that you made the right decision—just like you did this time. Even though you might not feel it right away, there’s proof things will get better and the urge to text will fade.
Breakups are seriously the hardest moments in my life. I hate them so much. You’re not alone!
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