When you’re going through a breakup, your first step is to dive into a pint of ice cream.
At least, that’s what movies told me when I was a teenager.
… But I figured out that wasn’t exactly the case.
Not for me. Not for my first breakup.
Actually, it was the opposite.
I became so depressed that I wasn’t hungry anymore.
I couldn’t eat.
I had no appetite.
Food seemed so unnecessary.
And let me be clear, I love food.
It was my first time living alone and no one was there to parent me.
So, after several days on just water and coffee, I knew I had to eat.
I bought Ensure drinks.
Yes, those are the meal replacement “shakes” people use when they’re in the hospital.
Even though there was nothing physically wrong with me, it definitely felt like there was.
Luckily, with (a lot) time, I got through that.
… and over half a dozen more heartbreaks since.
Some are easier than others.
It is NEVER easy for me.
Is it easy for men? Or do they just hide it better?
I had a couple guy friends who I asked, and they all experienced some form of heartbreak.
Sometimes worse than mine.
But, I know there’s many women out there who think their ex-partners are never affected by the split. Sometimes, they’re pretty sure guys don’t feel at all.
And, on the other hand, I know there’s many men thinking they’re alone in their heartbreak. I know this because I’ve had guy friends ask “is this normal? I feel like such a p*ssy.”
So, I decided to ask a bunch of random men themselves.
If you date men, I think reading their responses will you some type of relief, knowing that *many* guys are just as impacted by loss as you.
And if you ARE a man reading this, I *hope* you’ll feel more normal having heartbreak, knowing that most guys are affected, even if they don’t talk about it.
So let’s get on with it.
Here’s the responses from men to the question: “Are breakups easier for you?”
For my completely unscientific study, here’s what I did. I signed up on a major dating site and randomly selected men who messaged me.
I then sent them this message: “Hey, so I have a bit of an ice breaker question that I’ve been wondering about for a while. Honest answers only.”
That was followed up by one not-so-simple question: “Do you think breakups are easier for men?”
Here are their anonymous replies.
“I think it depends on the person, some people take things harder than others.. no matter guy or girl. That’d be my answer.” 32
“No. I think depending on the person, their capacity is to feel, and whether they are vulnerable and genuine, etc., etc.” -36
“I have to say all depends on the man and situation.” -30
“I guess depending on the man. I would be choked no matter if I broke up or got broken up with. But I’m a pretty sensitive person. Depends on the girl too I guess.”-30
“Yes, I think so.” -25
“No, trust me my ex broke up with me and it was hard for me to get back out there until recently.” -29
“Well, haha. I’d have to say it would depend on the guy and the relationship, lol.” -29
“Ya, it’s always difficult for sure. Depends how long of a relationship, I’ve had hard times and easy times getting over it.” -27
“No I think if you really like the person it’s bad no matter who you are!!!” -34
“No, not at all. Do you know how hard it is to pick up a girl when all he can think about is trust? It’s hard.” -28
“Umm. Actually, it depends on the relationship. If it’s deep, I guess it’s more harder for men.” -27
“Hmm. No, I think it depends. Gender isn’t going to make a difference. Haha, depends on the person :p” -26
“No, they aren’t. I went through a pretty bad time in my life after a breakup.” -28
“They are for me, lol.” -30
(This was followed up by 5 “wanna fck??” messages and 5 calls over the app. Don’t trust this guy.)
These responses came from men on a major dating website. Most of them said some form of “it depends” and that gender didn’t necessarily have anything to do with it. They mentioned factors such as how much you liked the person, the depth of the relationship and your level of openness.
A few expressed a particularly bad heartbreak, proving that, of course, men are also affected by the loss.
Out of 15, only 2 said breakups were easier for men. One of the 2 spammed me with unsolicited booty calls afterward, hinting at what some of these guys said: It depends on the depth of the relationship and person.
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