12 Best Breakup Advice Blogs to Lean on Through a Sad Split

Table of Contents

When you go through a breakup, sometimes it can be hard to contain your feelings.

At first, you may rant with friends about what an idiot they were or how they were truly your soulmate. Then maybe you start seeking advice from them and family on what you should do. Should you try to win him back? Or, if it’s for the best, how do you truly move on?

While friends and family can comfort you and have helpful advice, your feelings may last longer than they’re willing to listen for. Of course, a good friend should be there for you. But sometimes, there comes a time when they’ve given all their advice and you still feel like crap. What then?

Well, that’s when a breakup advice blog can come in handy. These can give you unbiased advice on what you’re going through and guide you how to come out on the other side.

10 Best Breakup Advice Blog

If you’re struggling to get over an ex or feel better after a breakup, see if any of these heartbreak blogs resonate with you.

#1 HelloBreakup.com by Breakup Coach

HelloBreakup.com is written by breakup coach Nancy Ruth Deen. It covers a host of topics surrounding breakups such as how to stop ruminating, judging your ex, or how to let go of resentment. Unlike some other blogs, it focuses a lot on the inner work you go through after a split. Nancy also has a podcast where she tackles topics such as whether breaking up was the right decision or putting your ex on a pedestal.

Sample articles on HelloBreakup.com:

#2 Breakup Boost

Breakup Boost is a podcast, but it also has a blog where you can read coach Trina’s advice. The blog features a whole bunch of different subjects, such as being stood up on a date, to breakup problems, like splitting over no specific problem. When you click on each post, it includes the relevant episode which you can easily listen to. If you’d rather skim it over, you also read the content.

Sample articles on Breakup Boost:

#3 Rapid Breakup Recovery: Advice for Men

If you’re looking for advice specifically for men, this blog could be your go-to. Topics mainly revolve around healing from a breakup such as describing the wave of emotions you may feel and how to break contact. While tackling heartbreak at large, Jesse also answers specific questions from readers, such as what to do when their partner needs space or how to deal with loneliness. His advice is straight-forward and to the point while still recognizing the very real emotions behind it all.

Sample articles from Rapid Breakup Recovery:

#4 Psychology Todays’ Breakup Collection

Ok, Psychology Today is a magazine, not a blog. However, it features many breakup and heartbreak articles on their site, so you can probably find a few relating to your situation. For a full list, check out their “Surviving a Breakup” Collection.

Since Psychology Today is mostly written by doctors, you’ll get science-backed advice and solutions that they tell real clients. Some articles also help detail our inner workings and what we go through during a breakup.

Sample articles on Psychology Today:

#5 Lindsey Ellison Breakup Blog

Lindsey Ellison is another breakup coach who aims to inspire others with her blog content and podcasts. If you’ve recently broken up with a narcissist, she should be the first one you check out. After a divorce with a narcissist, she learned lessons such as the cycle of despair and how to deal with those specific type of people while bringing you back to your truth.

Sample articles from Lindsey Ellison:

#6 Breakup Survival Guide from Simply Solo

This blog is branded as a “single girl starting over” where you can follow the journey. Catherine tells her story of heartbreak through anger, sadness, missing him and tips for Facebook breakup settings. She’s also made room for guest posters to share their experiences, which encompasses a wider range of topics.

Sample articles on Simply Solo:

#7 Breakup Recovery Blog by Dr. Bobby

Dr. Bobby is the founder of a counseling and coaching practice and she’s also authored a book about breakups too! Since she’s trained in the matter, she’s great at providing examples and case studies so you can fully understand. Many of her blog posts also feature podcast episodes. She covers non-heartbreak issues too, such as toxic relationships, finding your soulmate and repairing trust in a relationship.

Sample articles by Dr. Bobby:

#8 Your Tango’s Breakup Section

Your Tango features articles in a variety of niches, but the breakup section in particular could be helpful during this time. Unlike other blogs, these articles feature more “fun” and less “research-backed” advice. It also has essay-type stories chronicling other’s breakups, which could be an interesting read to distract you from your own. Although this blog may feature less tangible advice, it’s entertaining in a way that’s very relatable.

Sample articles on Your Tango:

#9 Laura Yates Breakup Blog

Laura Yates has pretty much dedicated herself to helping you through a breakup—from her podcast to her dozens of articles on the subject. She draws from personal experience and what has helped her to shed some wisdom on your own situation. If you’re looking for someone to empathize with you while giving you solid advice to move forward, she may be your favorite.

Sample articles from Laura Yates:

#10 Natasha Adamo’s Breakup Blog

Natasha says she used to have crippling social anxiety and zero confidence. And after a painful breakup, her physical health gave out too. But now she coaches a variety of clients on how to overcome obstacles in their journeys. Her breakup blog posts feature all-too-relatable topics such as breaking no contact, dating a narcissist and dreaming about exes.

Sample articles from Natasha Adamo:

#11 Reddit’s Breakup Sub

Okay, this is another one that isn’t really a blog—but it still provides tons of meaningful advice and breakup stories. On this subreddit, people share everything from their personal experiences to inner wisdoms they’ve learned through breakups that may help you. Of course, if you make an account, you can also post your own stories or insights. You can also comment on others to ask for advice or give your own thoughts. In case you’re wondering, men and women both post here.

Sample subreddit posts:

#12 With My Ex Again Blog

Compared to the other blogs on this list, this one is more geared toward what to do when you know you were actually the problem. For example, if you realize you’ve done things to hurt your partner, what do you do next? Do you apologize? Try to get back with them? If not, how do you move on? All these questions are addressed in this blog.

Sample With My Ex Again posts:

Summary of the Best Breakup Advice Blog

When searching for a breakup advice blog, you should first decide what type of advice you’re looking for. For example, some articles feature more science-backed advice and some blogs are written by therapists with credentials in the area. However, other blogs are written from first-hand experience on how to get over a split. Some have a more casual, relatable, anecdotal tone, while others can be more information-based.

12 Tools for Divination: Fortune-Telling Objects for Deep Insight

YoHumanz

Table of Contents

There’s a lot of different spiritual or “magical” things you can use to learn about yourself–or the future.

For example, a few months ago, I downloaded an app to learn tarot. To be honest, I didn’t get very far but something stuck out at me. In the first lesson, the writer portrayed tarot NOT exclusively as a psychic tool but as a tool to learn more about ourselves. They described how each card represented a stage in the human journey we all go through. From the fool card symbolizing the naive excitement of new beginnings to the death card forecasting the end of a situation.

With that, I began thinking that many divination tools can be seen in a similar light.

Even if we don’t believe they can “tell the future,” we can use them for self-introspection. They can give us guidance or comfort and provide meaning in the tough situations we sometimes go through as humans.

And that’s where I came up with the idea for this post.

Although I haven’t used most of the tools mentioned in this post, I’ve been reading about them for over a decade. I’ve learned that different tools work for different people. And, even if we don’t use them for “reading” our future, we can learn a lot from them about the human experience.

So whether you use these to gain knowledge about the future or your personal life, here are your spiritual tool options.

12 Tools for Divination for Deep Personal Insight

Before we list the tools for divination, we should talk a little about the ritual surrounding the use of them. Most readers and experts agree that you should try to have a clear mind before using any spiritual tool. Some prefer to meditate ahead of time for this reason.

You should also say a prayer or intention before using your selected object. This is to protect yourself from any negative energies. If you don’t believe in that, it can still help you set the stage for your reading.

After a session is finished or between readings, you should also cleanse the deck, set or whatever it is. Maybe be done through sage smoke, water, sage sprays, moonlight or intention depending on the object.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s look at 12 objects you can use to gain deep insights.

#1 Tarot

Tarot is probably the most popular divination tool. The tarot was a pack of playing cards used for games in the mid 15th-century. However, today it’s most known as a tool used by psychics to tell the future. More recently, it’s become popularized as a self-discovery tool in younger generations.

There’s a lot to learn about every tool, but that’s perhaps multiplied in the tarot. The deck is made of 78 cards, each with a different name and image. The deck is split into 2 sections: the Major Arcana and the Minor Arcana.

The Major Arcana has 22 cards which represent spiritual lessons. The Minor Arcana has 56 cards and they more specifically detail the troubles we face in normal, human life. When someone does a reading, these cards are shuffled and then picked off the top to put into a spread.

There are many spreads you can use that are specific to situations and some are more generalized. Each spot in the layout represents a different thing. For example, a simple layout would be past, present and future. Others have spots for “love” and “career” and “health.”

When read together, the layout tells a story. The reader uses their intuition along with the symbols on the card and the traditional meaning of the card to gain knowledge. Since there are so many cards, the messages can be more detailed. Some readers also have different messages when the cards land upside down, meaning there’s even more to study. That also means tarot can take longer to learn the basics of than other forms of divination.

You can choose the traditional Rider-Waite tarot deck or you can buy other versions illustrated with different symbols.

#2 Angel Cards

Angel cards are similar to tarot cards in that you pull them and place them in a layout that tells a story. However, the images and names of the card are completely different.

The most well-known angel cards are created by Doreen Virtue. However, since creating many decks and teaching people how to use them, Doreen claims to have found god and denounces anything to do with her past work. Regardless of that, they are still available to buy and work just as well (sorry, but they do, Doreen).

If you’re intimidated by tarot cards, angel cards can be a good place to start because the meanings are often more gentle. Decks typically some with a guidebook you can use to look up the meaning of the cards. Unlike tarot, each angel card deck will be completely different with different meanings.

#3 Fairy Cards, Unicorn cards, etc.

Still on the card theme, there’s an endless list of types of divination decks you can buy. They run from fairies to unicorns to leprechauns and things I probably have no idea even exist.

Similar to angel cards, they are placed in a spread with each spot symbolizing something different. They also typically come with a guidebook to help your intuition with the meanings.

#4 Affirmation Cards

Affirmation cards aren’t typically thought of as a divination tool, but I thought I’d add it here anyway. That’s because you can use them in a similar manner if you’re reading yourself.

For example, if you believe you can pick up a card from any divination deck and get a message from it, why not an affirmation deck? The benefit of an affirmation deck is that you get a message you can repeat along with it. I’ve been having bad days before and pulled an affirmation that was exactly what I needed to hear.

If you don’t know what affirmations are, they are short phrases you can repeat in your head, out loud or write down. Over time, the belief is that these messages will sink into your brain and cause you to change your actions. For example “I’m a healthy, whole, creation of God” may feel awkward, but over time, you may actually feel healthier. The actual research on whether this works is divided, but you can try it out yourself to see if it works.

#5 Runes

Celtic runes have been used for fortune telling for hundreds of years. They look like small stones with symbols carved in. These symbols are actually and alphabet instead of depicting actual events.

Similar to cards, each rune has their own meaning that can be interpreted based on where it lands in the spread. Layouts are typically 3, 5 and 9 runes spread out. When a reader picks the runes, it’s called “rune casting.”

Since each has their own meaning, and means different things upside down, it can take a long time to learn. Similar to other rules, a reader uses their intuition and the traditional meaning of the symbol to develop a story of deep insights to tell the person (or themselves).

#6 Crystal Ball

The crystal ball is probably the thing that comes to mind when someone mentions “psychic” or “fortune teller.” But is it possible to really see pictures in a crystal ball?

How you use a crystal ball is called “gazing” or “scrying.”

It’s typically practiced in a low-lit room with a candle nearby. This is said to help create the right shadows and lighting to gaze. When you’re ready, begin staring into the ball with your mind focused solely on it (not your thoughts).

Meditation and mindfulness is a good practice to get good at gazing and turning off outside distractions. As you stare into the ball, try not to blink or look away.

It’s said that when your mind is clear enough, a gaze will form around it. At this time, you may see pictures in the ball that could reveal information about a situation. Instead of making sense of the pictures now, continue watching and analyze later. Analyzing now could break the session.

As your images fade, the session will close out. Then, you should record what you seen and think about its meaning. It’s also work noting that some people don’t see physical pictures inside the ball. Instead, they see pictures in their minds eye but the ball helps them to focus. It’s said that seeing pictures takes a lot of time and practice.

#7 Pendulum

A pendulum is typically a pointed stone attached to a chain. When dangled over something, where the point of the stone stops is your message.

To use a pendulum, you’ll also need something to dangle it over. Some stores sell sheets with yes/no or numbers or letters etc. You could also make your own. You could also use it over a map (ex. “where should I travel?”).

Alternatively, you can use it without anything for a simple yes or no answer. When people start using a pendulum, they do exercises to figure out which way means yes and which one means no. This can be done by asking questions you already know the answer to and seeing where it lands. After learning this, they ask their question and notice where the pendulum falls.

Whichever method you choose, you need to steady the pendulum first. Then, ask your question and watch it.

#8 Tea Leaf Readings

Tea leaf readings, AKA tasseomancy, is the practice of getting messages by reading the leaves left over after a cup of tea.

So, how does it work? first, you’ll need loose leaf tea and you’ll need to make it without the bag so it can be seen in the bottom when you’re finished drinking. After making your tea, reflect on your intention or question.

As you drink the tea, think about your question. When there’s about a tablespoon left, hold the cup in your left hand and swirl it three times from left to right. Then, flip it over onto a saucer plate. Leave it upside down for about a minute to drain. Rotate it three times and turn the cup back up.

You’ll notice the leaves are stuck to the cup in different places. Your job is to identify patterns and clusters. There’s many traditional symbols from tea leaf readings you can look at for guidance (animals, objects, numbers, letters). You also need to consider where on the cup the symbol is, since that can change the story the leaves are telling. The cup is divided into 3 sections for this purpose.

#9 Charm Readings

To do charm readings, you can either buy a whole set, or make your own which you add to over the years. They can be charms, buttons, small objects, dice or symbols, etc. It can be as few as 10 or as much as 50 and more.

After that, you’ll need a throwing surface. You can use a small box or even a tabletop for this. You’ll also need a container to “mix” the charms in before you throw AKA “cast” them. Since charm sets are more personal than a tarot deck, you’ll need to work with your own set to learn the symbolism. Take time to think about what each one means. And, each session will also probably teach you a little bit more about them. You can also read charms face side up and face side down if you want.

After thinking of your intention or question, you can cast your charms. Then, you can read them according to your own symbols and intuition. Where charms are located next to one another can also give detail to the story. Since more is up to interpretation in charm readings, it can be helpful to read about what specific readers do.

#10 Bone Readings

Similar to rune and charm casting, bone readings can also be used to gain insight.

Bone scrying or casting needs to be done with a set of bones. You can buy bones for this specific purpose. However, some people collect their sets over years by searching on nature walks for dead animal remains. Although this method is more “natural,” you’ll also need to learn how to cure the bones. If this sounds disgusting, just buy them.

Once you have your set, there’s a few ways to use them. For a yes or no question, you can ask it and simply drop the bone onto a table. If it lands vertical, it’s a no. If it’s horizonal, it means yes.

You can also scry by dropping a handful of bones from above and looking into them to see messages, similar to how we described in the crystal ball reading section. This method is difficult and can take a long time before you see anything.

Other readers draw symbols on their bones and personalize them. This allows them to read bones more similar to how they’d read tarot or another card deck.

#11 Astrology

When you think about astrology, you probably think about your horoscope, which is based on your month and day of birth. However, astrology is actually a lot more complex than that.

People believe they can gain insight about themselves, others and the world by looking at the movements and positions of celestial objects, such as planets, sun, moon, etc.

An astrology reading typically consists of making an astrological chart that’s specific for your birth. That includes the date, year, time and location. At the exact time and spot you were born, the planets were in certain positions. This chart shows where. Based on that information, readers use their in-depth knowledge about signs and planets and houses to predict things from your personality to future events.

Many people love astrology because it tells them less about specific events and more about big picture items. This can help them find meaning in tough situations or discover hope for the future. Since there’s so much to learn about astrology, you will truly never get bored or over-educated about it.

#12 Numerology

Simply put, numerology is like astrology but with numbers. Many people will disagree with that short definition, but I think it’s a good (yet oversimplified) way to put it.

When doing a numerology reading for yourself or others, you’ll use different information depending on what you’re looking to learn. For example, you can determine your:

Life path number
Destiny number
Personality number
Soul number

Each number has different information you use to get it. All of it involves simply adding numbers or turning letters into numbers.

Let’s take your life path number for example. It shows your greater life purpose and talents, etc. You find it by adding your birth year, day and month (month in numeric form). Once these are reduced to a single digit, you have your number. Each number has a different meaning depending if it’s a life path, destiny number, etc. You also do not reduce master numbers (11 and 22).

Some numbers require you to turn the letters in your name into numbers. Certain letters are prescribed certain numbers, which you’d need to reference. Here’s a good example of what you’d do to find your numbers.

Summary on Tools for Divination

Whether you’re looking to get into spirituality, do psychic readings or just learn more about yourself, there’s plenty of tools to choose from. You can try or research a few to see which resonate with you most. With any of them, it will take a lot of time to master and build your intuition. Most readers agree that you should say a prayer or intention to protect you before using any psychic tool. Most tools should also be cleansed so its energy is clear for next time.

104 Things to Do After a breakup to Stop Hurting | Best Distractions

YoHumanz

When you’re doing through a breakup or divorce, it may be the only thing you can think about.

The thought of living without them, even if it was your choice, can be daunting.

And, when you feel emotional, it can be hard to do anything.

Getting out of bed can feel like running a marathon, let alone working or doing household chores.

When your thoughts and emotions seemingly hijack your life, one way to feel better is to distract yourself.

We should mention first that it’s important to recognize and deal with your emotions.

If you use distraction as a way to avoid working through your feelings, you’ll likely just prolong your hurt.

However, keeping busy can give you a break from intrusive thoughts. And, getting into an action can get you out of your head. Although free time and relaxation is necessary, too much can mean time to think about your ex.

If you’re not sure of good distractions after a breakup, we have some suggestions for you in this post!

104 Best Breakup Distractions

Here’s a list of things you can try to distract yourself during a breakup.

Watch a movie
Do a workout on YouTube
Go to the gym
Play a game
Research about a cause that’s important to you
Call a friend
Clean
Take a hike
Research about your dream job/dream title
Do a workout outside
Download a game app
Try a yoga session on YouTube
Volunteer at (or provide services to) a local charity
Buy a craft kit and get creative
Explore a new part of your city/town
Binge a show on Netflix
Look up pictures of your celebrity crush and allow yourself to swoon over them for a few minutes
Clean areas of your home you’ve neglected
Go to the library (or shop online) and pursue a new section/category
Consider adopting a pet (if you have the time and ability to, of course! Remember pets are a forever commitment!)
Get really good at making cocktails
Buy an anonymous gift for someone
Take a free or paid online course
YouTube a dance and learn it from memory
Visit friends more often
Organize a picnic or BBQ
Go on a road trip
Put on music and dance around
Read a book
Write a thank-you letter to someone
Clear space on your phone (we could all do that!)
Research a good charity to donate to
Go to the nearest lake/ocean and go kayaking/canoeing
Go through a donation rampage through your home and drop it off to a local organization
Clean out your closet
Do a DNA test and discover your unknown relatives
Color in an adult coloring book
Ask others about their breakup and how they got through it
Hang some photos (but none of your ex)
Try out a new hairstyle
Go to a restaurant and eat alone
Pick up an instrument
Do some random acts of kindness
Dive into astrology or numerology
Start watching a new sport
Join and follow a new subreddit
Get into soapmaking, candle making or woodworking
Organize the files on your computer
Go into the forest or a local nature area and pick some flowers (if you don’t like flowers, give them to someone!)
Do a Facebook friend cleaning
Grant yourself some well-deserved naps
Learn photography
Go down a weird YouTube rabbit hole
Become an advocate for something
Become a youth mentor at a local organization
Make a list of reasons you’re glad it’s over
Plan a trip (even if you can’t take it for a while)
Collect some supplies and do a painting tutorial on YouTube
Have a garage sale (and invite your ex over to buy back his stuff—just kidding!!)
Third-wheel with a couple that constantly argues and feel grateful it’s not you anymore
Take up making coffees (lattes, cappuccinos, expressos) as a new hobby
Take a trip to visit a family member or long distance friend
Start a blog
Take yourself on a date
Ask a friend if you can petsit their pet
Go through fashion photos on Pinterest and consider a new style
Make a list of things you’re grateful for
Create a new Pinterest board and go down a pin rabbit hole
Learn a new language
Learn more about a new subject (psychology, biology, self-improvement, spirituality, etc.)
Go swimming
Start journaling
Practice aromatherapy—purchase some essential oils and a diffuser and see if it helps you feel better!
Put on a face mask
Take a trip by yourself
Learn to read angel or tarot cards
Discover your own body (you know what I’m saying!)
Plant a flower to start a windowsill garden
Buy a magazine and read it cover-to-cover
Look for a side job
Plan a dating profile—from the picture you’ll use to your bio (but don’t post it yet if you’re not ready!)
Go to a museum
Go outside and aim to give 10 people genuine compliments
Seek out and follow inspirational accounts on social media
Try out a breakup app
Come up with a budget or savings plan (even if it’s just saving $5 per week)
Start a business
Cook yourself a delicious dinner
Clean your car
Test out a whole bunch of different hobbies and see what sticks
Go on a trip alone
Download Bumble BFF and make some new friends
Take a bus, subway or train to no planned destination and discover it (just make sure you have Google Maps to get back home!)
If you’re not ready to date yet, set up a fake dating profile (Plentyoffish.com is a good one for this). Peruse the bachelors/bachelorettes in your area to gain some hope.
Redecorate your home or a room
Try a new dessert recipe
Research and make a list of podcasts to listen to
Research and make a list of audiobooks to listen to (Libby is a free audiobook app available if you have a library card)
Listen to those podcasts and audiobooks while you’re doing other things to stop hurtful thoughts from popping in
Try making something in a category that you’ve never tried before (ice cream, pastries, bread)
Try making a new dish from a culture outside your own
Try a new takeout dish from a culture outside your own
Start watching a new TV show that you look forward to every week
Make a vision board outlining your better future ahead

57 Quotes About Change by Historic Black Leaders Still Relevant Today

YoHumanz

Before we jump into these quotes, we’ll address the most important thing…

….which is what we can do ourselves to be anti-racist.

The first step, I think, is education (especially for white people like myself). We can’t amend our beliefs or actions or call others out if we don’t have the knowledge to. Here is a very helpful Anti-Racism Resource List.

One thing I’ve found myself discussing with family is how racism isn’t always overt. We have unconscious bias that may be driving our actions in less obvious ways. A small example I’ve given of my own actions is realizing who I follow on social media. Even though it’s not my intention, it’s still my responsibility to ask myself why and how I can fix it.

Secondly, Black Lives Matter has created a page of ways to donate. There’s links to funds for victims, protestor bail funds, Black-owned businesses and more. You can also donate to Black Lives Matter Canada.

There’s also ways to donate WITHOUT MONEY.

These include YouTube videos or live streams that donate all ad revenue to Black Lives Matter funds. The few I was watching have been taken down. So rather than directly linking them, you can find current ones by Googling “donation streams Black lives matter” or “donation video Black lives matter.” (Stream from trusted sources to make sure they’ll actually donate the money.)

Thirdly, Black Lives Matter has a page of petitions you can sign to demand change. Even if you live outside the U.S., you can sign using their sample U.S. zip codes.

Finally, anti-racism isn’t a trending topic. It’s an ongoing process that’s our responsibility to partake in, even after the headlines stop.

For myself, although I’ve always cared about equality, I know I haven’t done enough and this has made me pay more attention. It’s made me educate myself more, question my unconscious biases, tweet in rage, donate and have more tough conversations with family members—over and over.

For any type of change to happen though, all of my actions need to become a habit. I know that I’ll make mistakes and be called out. And I’ll call others out too. It will be uncomfortable. But that’s ok because I will learn and I will do better. I will do my part and encourage others to do theirs.

57 Quotes About Change by Historic Black Leaders

One major thing that stuck out to me about these quotes is how relevant they are today. When these wise leaders speak about racism and harmful systems, the words are still applicable today, decades and even a century later.

Although as a society we’ve made some changes since then, it’s not enough and it was never enough. We have to do better. A lot better. And we have to accelerate the pace in which changes are made.

This is our responsibility—at personal, professional and government levels—indefinitely.

“It is better to teach or live equality and love…than to have hatred and prejudice.”

-Rosa Parks

“Opportunity is important but exertion is indispensable.”

-Frederick Douglass

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.”

-Rosa Parks

“Usually, when people are sad, they don’t do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.”

-Malcolm X

“My greatest political asset, which professional politicians fear, is my mouth, out of which come all kinds of things one shouldn’t always discuss for reasons of political expediency.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“Intelligence is a great leveler here as elsewhere.”

-Frederick Douglass

“True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.”

“Intelligence plus character — that is the goal of true education.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“We are wasting and degrading human life by clinging to archaic thinking.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“I’m for truth, no matter who tells it. I’m for justice, no matter who it’s for or against.”

-Malcolm X

“For when people get caught up with that which is right and they are willing to sacrifice for it, there is no stopping point short of victory.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Political organizations are formed to keep the powerful in power. Their first rule is “don’t rock the boat.” If someone makes trouble and you can get him, do it. If you can’t get him, bring him in.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“If you have no critics you’ll likely have no success.”

-Malcolm X

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.”

-Maya Angelou

“The time is always right to do what is right.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.”

-Maya Angelou

“We need more light about each other. Light creates understanding, understanding creates love, love creates patience, and patience creates unity.”

-Malcolm X

“I believe we are here on the planet Earth to live, grow up and do what we can to make this world a better place for all people to enjoy freedom.”

-Rosa Parks

“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“Service is the rent that you pay for room on this earth.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“Civil war was not a mere strife for territory and dominion, but a contest of civilization against barbarism.”

-Frederick Douglass

“I have made some good enemies for which I am not a bit sorry. I have loved unselfishly, and I have fondled hatred with the red-hot tongs of Hell. That’s living.”

-Zora Neale Hurston

“As far back as I can remember, I knew there was something wrong with our way of life when people could be mistreated because of the color of their skin.”

-Rosa Parks

“You have to wake the people up first, then you’ll get action.”

-Malcolm X

“When morality comes up against profit, it is seldom that profit loses.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“God’s time is always near. He set the North Star in the heavens; He gave me the strength in my limbs; He meant I should be free.”

-Harriet Tubman

“I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“You’re not to be so blind with patriotism that you can’t face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”

-Malcolm X

“Education is our passport to the future, for tomorrow belongs to the people who prepare for it today.”

-Malcolm X

“I would like to be remembered as a person who wanted to be free … so other people would be also free.”

-Rosa Parks

“People always say that I didn’t give up my seat because I was tired, but that isn’t true. I was not tired physically … No, the only tired I was, was tired of giving in.”

-Rosa Parks

“If I can help to bring about the change and move in that direction, I will have made my contribution.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“There are years that ask questions and years that answer.”

-Zora Neale Hurston

“Memories of our lives, of our works and our deeds will continue in others.”

-Rosa Parks

“Racism is so universal in this country, so widespread, and deep-seated, that it is invisible because it is so normal.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“There was one of two things I had a right to, liberty, or death; if I could not have one, I would have the other; for no man should take me alive…”

-Harriet Tubman

“You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.”

-Malcolm X

“If they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“All of our experiences fuse into our personality. Everything that ever happened to us is an ingredient.”

-Malcolm X

“Courage is the most important of all the virtues, because without courage you can’t practice any other virtue consistently.”

-Maya Angelou

“The next time a woman of whatever color, or a dark-skinned person of whatever sex aspires to be president, the way should be a little smoother because I helped pave it.”

-Shirley Chisholm

“You are the sum total of everything you’ve ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot — it’s all there. Everything influences each of us.”

-Maya Angelou

“Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.”

-Maya Angelou

“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”

-Maya Angelou

“If we are not careful, our colleges will produce a group of close-minded, unscientific, illogical propagandists, consumed with immoral acts.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because conscience tells him it is right.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it is right.”

–Rosa Parks

“You get freedom by letting your enemy know that you’ll do anything to get your freedom; then you’ll get it. It’s the only way you’ll get it.”

-Malcolm X

“I’ve learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.”

-Maya Angelou

“One day we will learn that the heart can never be totally right when the head is totally wrong.”

-Martin Luther King Jr.

“If you’re always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.”

-Maya Angelou

“I’m speaking as a victim of this American system. And I see America through the eyes of the victim. I don’t see any American dream; I see an American nightmare.”

–Malcolm X

“Stand for something or you will fall for anything.”

-Rosa Parks

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”

-Maya Angelou

“I have heard their groans and sighs, and seen their tears, and I would give every drop of blood in my veins to free them.”

-Harriet Tubman

“Each person must live their life as a model for others.”

-Rosa Parks

“If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.”

-Maya Angelou

Are Breakups Easier for Men? I Asked 15. Here’s Their Response.

YoHumanz

When you’re going through a breakup, your first step is to dive into a pint of ice cream.

At least, that’s what movies told me when I was a teenager.

… But I figured out that wasn’t exactly the case.

Not for me. Not for my first breakup.

Actually, it was the opposite.

I became so depressed that I wasn’t hungry anymore.

I couldn’t eat.

I had no appetite.

Food seemed so unnecessary.

And let me be clear, I love food.

It was my first time living alone and no one was there to parent me.

So, after several days on just water and coffee, I knew I had to eat.

I bought Ensure drinks.

Yes, those are the meal replacement “shakes” people use when they’re in the hospital.

Even though there was nothing physically wrong with me, it definitely felt like there was.

Luckily, with (a lot) time, I got through that.

… and over half a dozen more heartbreaks since.

Some are easier than others.

BUT…

It is NEVER easy for me.

Is it easy for men? Or do they just hide it better?

I had a couple guy friends who I asked, and they all experienced some form of heartbreak.

Sometimes worse than mine.

But, I know there’s many women out there who think their ex-partners are never affected by the split. Sometimes, they’re pretty sure guys don’t feel at all.

And, on the other hand, I know there’s many men thinking they’re alone in their heartbreak. I know this because I’ve had guy friends ask “is this normal? I feel like such a p*ssy.”

So, I decided to ask a bunch of random men themselves.

If you date men, I think reading their responses will you some type of relief, knowing that *many* guys are just as impacted by loss as you.

And if you ARE a man reading this, I *hope* you’ll feel more normal having heartbreak, knowing that most guys are affected, even if they don’t talk about it.

So let’s get on with it.

Here’s the responses from men to the question: “Are breakups easier for you?”

Table of Contents

“Are Breakups Easier for Men”? Here’s What 15 Guys Think

For my completely unscientific study, here’s what I did. I signed up on a major dating site and randomly selected men who messaged me.

I then sent them this message: “Hey, so I have a bit of an ice breaker question that I’ve been wondering about for a while. Honest answers only.”

That was followed up by one not-so-simple question: “Do you think breakups are easier for men?”

Here are their anonymous replies.

#1 Some Take it Harder

“I think it depends on the person, some people take things harder than others.. no matter guy or girl. That’d be my answer.” 32

#2 It’s About How Vulnerable Someone Is

“No. I think depending on the person, their capacity is to feel, and whether they are vulnerable and genuine, etc., etc.” -36

#3 It Depends

“I have to say all depends on the man and situation.” -30

#4 I’m Sensitive, So It Hurts More

“I guess depending on the man. I would be choked no matter if I broke up or got broken up with. But I’m a pretty sensitive person. Depends on the girl too I guess.”-30

#5 Ya, It’s Easier for Guys

“Yes, I think so.” -25

#6 Breakups are Actually Hard for Me

“No, trust me my ex broke up with me and it was hard for me to get back out there until recently.” -29

#7 Depends on the Couple

“Well, haha. I’d have to say it would depend on the guy and the relationship, lol.” -29

#8 Sometimes It’s Easy, Sometimes It’s Hard

“Ya, it’s always difficult for sure. Depends how long of a relationship, I’ve had hard times and easy times getting over it.” -27

#9 A To-the-Point “No”

“No.” -32

#10 It’s Bad for Anyone You Really Like Them

“No I think if you really like the person it’s bad no matter who you are!!!” -34

#11 It’s Not Easier and It Has Long Effects

“No, not at all. Do you know how hard it is to pick up a girl when all he can think about is trust? It’s hard.” -28

#12 It’s Worse for Men in Deep Relationships

“Umm. Actually, it depends on the relationship. If it’s deep, I guess it’s more harder for men.” -27

#13 Gender Doesn’t Make a Difference

“Hmm. No, I think it depends. Gender isn’t going to make a difference. Haha, depends on the person :p” -26

#14 No. Breakups Really Affect Me.

“No, they aren’t. I went through a pretty bad time in my life after a breakup.” -28

#15 Easy Peasy

“They are for me, lol.” -30

(This was followed up by 5 “wanna fck??” messages and 5 calls over the app. Don’t trust this guy.)

Summary: Are Breakups Easier for Men?

These responses came from men on a major dating website. Most of them said some form of “it depends” and that gender didn’t necessarily have anything to do with it. They mentioned factors such as how much you liked the person, the depth of the relationship and your level of openness.

A few expressed a particularly bad heartbreak, proving that, of course, men are also affected by the loss.

Out of 15, only 2 said breakups were easier for men. One of the 2 spammed me with unsolicited booty calls afterward, hinting at what some of these guys said: It depends on the depth of the relationship and person.

36 Customizable Breakup Bucket List Ideas to Move On + Change Your Life

YoHumanz

Table of Contents

When you breakup with someone, your life can change.

If you’ve known them for a long time, your routines and day-to-day life may look completely different.

Even if you only knew them for a short while, the pain of heartbreak and loss can change who you are as a person.

With all these confusing emotions, it can be difficult to know what to do next.

To help you get over someone, you can consider making a breakup bucket list. Depending on the items you add to it, it can help distract you from sadness, move on, heal and find happiness again.

In this post, we’re sharing 36 breakup bucket list ideas to help you overcome heartbreak.

The Ultimate Breakup Bucket List Master list

How to Use the Breakup Bucket List

We suggest using our breakup bucket list master list to create your own. Some items will resonate with you while others won’t apply at all. Jot down the ones you think will help you and make you smile, then get working on it!

#1 Try Out New Recipes

Many times, when we’re with someone, we’re limited by their preferences. They don’t like beef? Guess we aren’t making it for dinner anymore. They’re on their newest diet fad? Guess we’ll never eat real food again.

… But, now that you’re broken up, you can eat, cook and bake whatever you damn well please. I suggest starting with the foods they hated the most. Or—any recipe requiring a ton of garlic and onion 🙂 There’s nobody to worry about your breath now!

#2 Try Out New Exercises

After a breakup is a great time to start exercising. The reason many people will give is because they want to “show up” their ex and surprise them with their new, “bangin’ bod” (did I really just type such a douchey, magazine-like phrase). Sure, you could do that. But there’s many other good reasons to get healthier during a breakup:

You have more time to workout

You have no one to judge how or how often you workout

Exercise releases endorphins—a feel-good chemical that can help ward off stress and anxiety

#3 Get More Sleep

When you were dating, you may have been partially operating on someone else’s schedule. Now that it’s just you, you can create your ideal sleep times. Maybe you wake up extra early and start new, healthy morning routine. That alone can be lifechanging. Or, maybe you’re just happy you’re not dragged to a Sunday morning church service so you spend it sleeping in. Whatever the case, when you sleep is totally up to you now. Take advantage of that!

#4 Travel

I personally love the idea of traveling with someone else. But there’s no guarantee the next person you meet will like to travel or that your schedules will line up. And, there’s always a possibility that “life will pass you by” and you’ll continue putting it off. If you have the resources to now, explore while single!

#5 Date Around

Maybe you’ve done it before, maybe you haven’t. If you’re used to settling in with one of the first guys you meet, you may not end up meeting a lot of people. To discover what you want and need in a partner, it can help to date around. As you begin to learn about the different types of people in the world, you can gain a better sense of who will fit into yours.

#6 Learn Something New

What’s that thing you wanted to learn but have never had time to? Maybe it’s sewing, racing cars, singing or snowboarding. Whatever it is, it’s a great way to fill the gap of time your partner used to take up. And, unlike watching TV, you’ll have something to show for your time spent.

Read: 23 Breakup Quotes to Release Emotion + Move On

#7 Find Your “Relaxation” Hobby

Many hobbies come with an end result. For example, the creation of a new craft or the usability of a fixed motorcycle. But, not everything we do in life needs to come with fixed results. Some hobbies should allow us to just “be” without producing anything useful. Since breakups are often stressful, now is an ideal time to start experimenting to find your relaxation activity. Try a few things out and see which make you feel calmer:

Taking a bath
Journaling
Meditation
Jogging or working out
Yoga
Stretching
Watching a stand-up comedy
Playing with your dog’s/children

#8 Read a Self-Help Book

Self-help books cover a wide range of topics, so choose something that resonates with you. You could go for something on the spiritual side, like Wayne Dyer. Or you could go for something career-orientated, such as the 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People. There’s plenty of inspirational and motivational self-help classics to choose from too.

#9 Read a Relationship-Centered Book

When I was going through a tough breakup, I found that it helped me to understand the psychology behind some of the events that happened. For example, I loved reading Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep—Love. Another option is to go for something more “fun” like It’s Not Okay. That book was written by the Bachelor’s Andi Dorfman and there’s a little bit of wisdom to go along with her hilarious sass—perfect for a breakup.

#10 Reading a Novel

During a breakup, sometimes you just need to get out of your head. Getting back into reading is a good hobby for that. Choose a genre that gets you hooked (mine’s mystery) and makes you forget about the crap going on.

#11 Go 30 Days without Something

With no one overly close to you anymore, it’s easier to avoid temptation. For example, if you’re trying to cut out soda, it will be way easier to do without someone. That means you’re more likely to stick to new habits. Whether you continue beyond the 30 days is up to you. You could go 30 days without:

An unhealthy snack or food
Drinking
Gossiping
A bad habit
TV

#11 Go 30 Days with Something

…Alternatively, you could go 30 days adding a new habit. With some freed-up time, it should be a little easier to plan for your added thing. It could be a challenge you do for yourself. For some, you may choose to give it a certain amount of time. Others, you may want to permanently add into your routine. Whichever the case, start off small with even a week challenge and build up. If you’re not sure where to start, search your topic and “30 day challenge” into Google. You could go 30 days with:

Upping your water intake
Eating well
Going for a walk
Stretching
Meditating
Reading

#12 Create a Mini Bucket List of Good Deeds

A quick way to pick yourself up is to make someone else feel better. It’s a good thought to start doing more good deeds, but without actionable steps, it’s less likely to happen. Take a moment to brainstorm a list of acts of kindness you’d actually do. After each one you complete, you’ll feel a little more uplifted. Ideas could include:

Leaving a kind review for a local business online
Writing a letter to a store about a kind employee
Writing a kind letter to a friend or family member
Buying an anonymous gift for someone
Paying for someone behind you in the drive-through
Donating to a local charity
Helping a family in need
Volunteering

#13 Set Aside a Boyfriend/Girlfriend Dreaming Session

One way to feel better about the breakup is to realize that you have the opportunity to meet someone who has the traits your ex didn’t. Maybe they weren’t caring enough, never bought you flowers, didn’t watch sports, etc. Now, you have the possibility to meet someone who’s truly your dream. How you daydream is up to you. Here’s some suggestions:

Make a list of non-negotiables your next partner will have
Journal about the way your future partner will make you feel
Search for attractive people on Pinterest and pin them to a secret “Relationship Vision Board”
Do a visualization “soulmate meditation”

**#14 Do the One Thing Your Ex Hated (Or Really, Really Liked + Give it to Someone Else)**

…Unless it’s harmful, of course. If there’s something your ex didn’t like you doing that you didn’t agree with, go ahead in an act of rebellion. For example, if a controlling partner didn’t like you travelling alone, travel alone. If they didn’t like you dressing a certain way because people flirted with you, dress that way all the time.

Another version of this is to get good at something they really, really liked. Then, when you meet the right person, they’ll get the benefits instead of your ex-partner. It’s a satisfying act of rebellion but it’s still really only useful if you like the new thing/habit. For example, maybe your ex-partner hated that you didn’t like video games and now all the sudden you’re the next upcoming videogame streamer. Or maybe they said they wanted someone who dressed better and now you dress great for everyone but them.

#15 Start New Habits

If you’re used to living with someone and now you’re alone all of the sudden, the extra “freedom” can be overwhelming. Instead, use it to your advantage by designing your ideal routine. Now is a great time to incorporate a relaxing morning routine (ex. meditation, yoga, walk, etc.). Or, you could develop a nightly self-care habit specific for your needs.

#16 Rearrange/Redesign Your Space

Whether you live in a house, an apartment or a room, post-breakup is a great time to switch things up. A change in scenery could mean fewer memories of the person in your place. Even if not, it can feel like a good way to symbolize a much needed fresh start.

#17 Move (if you’ve been wanting to)

If you’ve been wanting to move or try out living in a new city, use the breakup to push you to finally do it. If moving means seeing the person less, it could make moving on easier. Even the thought of having no chance of bumping into them can feel like a final severing of ties.

#18 Have a Spa Day

Whether you’re a man or a woman, if you can afford it, give yourself the luxury of a nice hair cut and massage. It’s a good way to pamper yourself without having a partner. And after what you’ve been through, you probably deserve it!

#19 Eat Alone

If you’ve never eaten alone in a sit-down restaurant before, you have to try it! It’s not something to be afraid of or feel sorry for people about. It’s a great way to enjoy a meal with no rush and stand in your confidence.

#20 Get Rid of Your Exes Things

We won’t tell you how to do it, but we will tell you to do it. Keeping stuff of your ex around serves no purpose but to prolong the heartache every time you see or think of it. If it’s something you need to give back, dreading that day can make it even worse. Get it over with and cut off the ties completely. Give back what you need to and throw out, give away or donate the rest.

#21 … Get Rid of Those Pictures Too

Pictures count too! And since they’re in so many places these days, that can be quite a feat. Go through your phone and delete anything on your camera roll. If some of those memories are special for reasons that extend beyond the person (ex. a trip, family gathering, etc.), you can store them somewhere else instead. For example, moving those pictures to a hard drive or Google Photos can ensure they’re still there if you want them, but they’re not immediately accessible when you’re missing the person.

#22 Reconnect with Family

If you don’t have a supportive family, I won’t try to convince you of this one, so skip to the next item. But, if you do, now is a great time to increase your contact with them. Whether it’s getting in touch with a long lost relative, visiting your parents more or just phoning up a family-like friend, reach out!

#23 Have (At Least One) Intentional “Nothing” Day

Yep, have a day where you don’t do anything. No cooking, working, chores or even changing out of your pajamas if you don’t want to. You can stay in bed and watch TV all day, order takeout, read, whatever you want. Breakups can take a lot of emotional energy and we need to build in time to just fully relax sometimes.

#24 Buy New Underwear or Boxers

Yep, a new pair that your partner has never been in. And, while you’re at it, you might as well make it the best pair you’ve ever bought.

#25 Start a Journal

It may sound corny, but if you don’t journal already, it could help you get through your heartbreak. A 2017 study showed the people who expressively wrote about their past relationship has fewer physical symptoms and fewer intrusive thoughts. While it may be tough to write about now, it can also be interesting to read later down the line. I wish I had written about my breakups years ago—I forget some of the crazy details now but it would be weird ride to relive them.

#26 Make a Gratitude List

You can choose to take 2 minutes each day to write a gratitude list—or you can set aside a larger chunk of time to write everything down at once. Either way, refocusing your attention on the positive instead of the negative can help you feel a little less crappy. It gives you a better perspective of life as a whole rather than just a snapshot of this tough situation. If this sounds corny, it may be. But science backs it up, so don’t blame us. Research shows that giving thanks can make you feel happier and reduce anxiety.

#27 Forgive Yourself

Even if our partner was the worst to us, we’ve probably done some things wrong too. It’s ok to where you could improve, even if you think the other person needs to improve more. But, with that being said, don’t be too hard on yourself. Beating yourself up over what didn’t go right won’t make things better. Everyone is imperfect and makes mistakes. Talk to yourself as you would a friend. If you’ve already learned the lesson, the only thing you can do is figure out how to put it into action.

#28 Make Mood-Centric Playlists

As you go through your breakup, you’ll go through different stages. You’re probably familiar with the idea behind several stages of grief. Well, breakups are another kind of grief. With that, you’ll probably go through sadness, anger, confusion and more before you finally reach a more healed, happy state. It can help to make playlists for each of your common moods. For example:

Angry, “f-you” playlist
Sad, “I miss you” playlist
Sad, “you lost something great” playlist
Motivational, “I’m so much better without you” playlist

Another option is to go even more specific. For example, if someone cheated on you, make a playlist of revenge playlist songs and listen to them as you beat up a punching bag.

#29 Take a Class

Make a pact with yourself to take a class. This serves a couple of purposes: it helps you meet other people who have nothing to do with your ex and it keeps your mind off of them too. It could be crafts, woodworking, dancing, music lessons, exercise, dog training, etc.

#30 Try a New Look

The theme of breakups doesn’t need to be—but often is—“reinventing” yourself. Although real change starts from the inside, your outer looks could be a symbol of that. So, don’t be afraid to try a new hair color, cut or fashion style. If you have a beard, maybe shave it. If you don’t, consider growing one. Little changes can make you feel like a different person, and with that, ready for a better future.

#31 Have (at least one) No-Phone Day

That’s right. One entire day without your phone. That includes no logging onto Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or anything else on your desktop either. While this may not be the best idea in the beginning stages of the breakup (when you’re lonely), it’s a good way to spend time with yourself. Spend the time in whatever way you choose—as long as you’re in present real life the entire day and not basked in the world of technology.

#32 Get Out in Nature

It’s your choice whether you want to make this a habit—such as going for a daily walk in the park—or a one-time thing, such as camping. Either way, many people agree that there’s just something healing about nature.

#33 Do Something Super Scary (But Exciting)

Do that thing you’ve always kinda wanted to do but kinda not because it’s terrifying. That looks different to everyone. It could be skydiving, zip-lining, asking someone out, a hot air balloon ride, going on a rollercoaster, public speaking, etc.

#34 Write Letters and Texts You’ll Never Send

If my exes read every letter and text I never sent, it’s unclear whether they’d cry or hire someone to kill me. Writing out the things you never got to say finally gets them out and can help you move past them. Just keep in mind: If it’s actually over, there’s little point in pressing send. It will probably only make things worse.

#35 Find or Renew Your Spirituality

Going through dark times often leads us to become more spiritual. Our new beliefs can give us the hope and courage to conquer tough events. A “higher power” looks different to everyone. In the traditional sense, it could mean going to church, mosque or temple. It could mean delving into new age or mystical beliefs. It could mean learning divination tools or reading a bit of everything. If you don’t believe in God, it could simply be your connection to nature or the world or humanity at large.

Read: 6 Tools to Develop Your Own Spiritual Beliefs

#36 Start a Side Project

If you’ve always wanted to try starting a business, now is a good time to do it. Since you have extra time to plan and carry out the steps, why not go for it? The options are endless. For example, maybe you’ve always wanted to sell your homemade candles on Etsy. Or, you’ve been wanting to start a blog.

Summary of Bucket List for Surviving a Breakup

Creating a personalized breakup bucket list can help guide you through this tough time. We encourage you to make it special to you. Include some items for fun, for learning, for distraction and for healing. You can use our master list of ideas to create your own breakup bucket list.

Text Messages Being Ignored? 8 Anxiety-Free Ways to Detach from Checking-Syndrome

YoHumanz

Table of Contents

The person you like hasn’t texted you back yet.

It’s been long enough.

How do you feel?

Rejected.

Like a loser.

Like you’re not good enough.

Time goes on and maybe you’re angry.

They’re probably with another guy or woman.

Screw them.

But now it’s definitely been too long and you’re worried.

Did something happen to them?

Are they okay?

Did they die?

Or are they just dead to you?

If you’re a texter and someone doesn’t text back quick enough, it can send you into a whole range of emotions. While you travel through them, the wait only seems to make it worse. Yep, it’s a crappy feeling.

When someone you like doesn’t text you back, you may feel like you have no control because you don’t know what’s going on. While you can’t make them respond, you do have some say in your own reaction.

Understanding and managing your emotions when you’re ignored can help you feel better. It can also give you the tools to communicate well when you’re in the right relationship.

In this post, we’re listing 8 things you can do to detach when your texts are being ignored.

8 Ways to Detach If They’re Ignoring Text Messages

If your match, crush or date hasn’t texted you back, the whirlwind of negative emotions can ruin your day or week—or if you’re like me—even longer 😬

Here’s how to deal with that and keep your self-confidence intact.

#1 Check Your Ego At the Beginning of This Post

What’s the number one question you have when a guy or woman won’t text back. We know it. “Should I double text?” Of course, you want to, because you think it could bump up your spot on the text queue. But, another part of you doesn’t. You don’t want them to think you’re a “loser” who sits around all day thinking about double-texting, begging for a reply.

Every gender contemplates the blow to their ego a double-text can have. But, whether you double text or not, in my opinion, it shouldn’t hinge on what the other person may think. Of course, if you’re getting mad after 15 minutes, sending a string of texts is understandably going to overwhelm them.

But if it’s been long enough, texting back can assert your real need for communication. If the person thinks you’re a “loser” because you value communication, it does hurt. But they weren’t right for you anyway. If you like to text a few times a day, you need someone who can typically do that. You shouldn’t be with someone who makes you feel bad about that.

So then, our question shouldn’t be “will I look like a loser?” or “will my ego take a hit?” It should instead be “are my communication needs appropriate?” and if they are, “is this person able to meet them?”

If you double-text to get your answer, don’t be embarrassed about it. The worst that will happen is that you get your answer (or don’t) and the person isn’t for you. Then, you can begin to move on instead of wasting more time.

#2 Stop Playing Games

Similar to the tip above, don’t play texting games. If they text you back in a day, don’t wait 2 days hoping to build suspense or “teach them a lesson.” Whether you’re casually dating or wanting a relationship, game-playing rarely works in the long-run. It’s usually an energy suck, a time-waster and will yield you no results.

If you think the other person is playing games, you don’t have to join in. Let go of the tug-of-war rope, let them fall, and walk away.

Finally, if you want to play a game, don’t date; take up Monopoly. It’s a less stressful way to burn a ton of time.

#3 Give Them Time for Non-Urgent Texts

How much time you should wait before writing someone off depends on your relationship with them and your communication needs. For example, if you just met someone online, don’t be angry if they take a few days to text back. Since you haven’t built an attachment yet, regular communication isn’t necessarily normal yet. Or, if you know your partner isn’t the best texter, don’t get angry after waiting a few hours. Of course, if the text is urgent (ex. “where are we meeting tonight?”), that’s different.

If you’re just starting to know each other, you’re getting to learn their communication and texting habits. It can take time to find a balanced ground that makes you both happy, so keep that in mind. Although having patience is one of my personal worst traits, I know it’s necessary in these situations. If you really like someone and you emotionally blow up because they didn’t text back soon enough, you could end up scaring a good person away.

#4 Reframe Your Thoughts

If you’re an anxious person, this section is for you. The reason it’s hard when people don’t text back is because it leads to snowballing thoughts. For example:

Why isn’t she texting back?> Maybe she’s driving> It’s been too long, maybe she’s in a car accident
Why isn’t she texting back?> Maybe she’s just having fun out with her friends > It’s been too long, maybe she went home with someone at the bar
Why isn’t he texting back?> Maybe he fell asleep > Maybe he saw the new profile pic I uploaded and he thinks I’m ugly and it’s over
Why isn’t my new Tinder match texting back?> Maybe he’s busy > Maybe he found a better match

As in those examples, sometimes our theories start out normal. But as the wait goes on, they take a turn for the worst. Unless you have (or later collect) evidence otherwise, try to reframe your fearful thoughts. For example:

I’m worried she got into a car accident, but she’s actually a great driver and she doesn’t always text back quickly, so she’s probably ok
I’m worried she met someone else at the bar, but she’s always been loyal to me and she hasn’t seen her friends in a while, so she’s probably just busy catching up
I’m worried he hates my new profile picture, but he is always complimenting my looks, so it’s probably ok
I’m worried my Tinder match met someone better. It sucks if he did, but I can meet someone else too. Plus, he could also just be busy.

#5 Give the Benefit of the Doubt

I know, there will be people who disagree with me on this. But hear me out, please. If the non-texter in question is someone you know to usually text back or they’re just not a texter, consider that. Are there times before when you got upset they didn’t text back, but you later found out there was a non-sketchy reason?

Of course, if you’re dating someone who has given you reason not to trust, having blind faith isn’t good advice. Turning your head when you know the reality won’t solve an issue. This tip is more for people who have a surge of anxiety, “freak out,” and later realize there wasn’t any evidence for it. If this is usually the case, see how you can give your crush or partner the benefit of the doubt.

Theorize the other reasons why they’re ignoring you, for example:

Are they busy at work?
Could their phone have died?
Do they “shut off” technology in times of stress?
Are they “old school” and hate texting altogether?

#6 Self-Soothe

While working on your patience, your mind may be going crazy. So, you’ll need to self-soothe. This means calming yourself down without getting your ideal solution (i.e. a text back). A good way to self-soothe is to distract yourself. For example:

Text someone else
Browse other matches (if you’re not already in a relationship)
Take a walk
Read a book
Watch a show or movie
Workout
Do yoga
Meditate
Focus on your work/job

#7 What to Say When Someone Ignores Your Texts–Then Texts Back

Maybe you almost forgot the guy or woman existed, and then she finally texts back. What do you say? Should you list all 20 ways their non-response has impacted you? I’ve made the mistake of sending angry, ranting replies back. Although I felt they needed to hear it, they didn’t care and their lack of caring only made me angrier.

Or, should you completely ignore the fact that they ignored you, hoping it doesn’t happen again?

In my opinion, there’s a few better replies:

Continue the convo (if it’s a new connection and wait hasn’t been that long)
No reply (if it’s taken too long and you have evidence it won’t work out, what’s the point? This is the most mature “response”)
“Thank God. I’ve been starring at my phone for the past 5 days waiting for your reply. Now I can finally get back to my regular routine.” (I don’t care if this chances me sounding like a “loser,” find it hilarious and I’ll never stop saying it).
“Glad to see you woke up after my last text made you faint from excitement” (good if they have a sense of humor, but especially if they don’t)
“Nice to see the good Lord resurrected you from death.”
“Such a weird glitch that your phone only blocked the texting app but allowed you to access everything else like Facebook and Instagram. Glad that’s over with.” (JK, definitely don’t text this. But we know you see them active on all other sites! Ugh, we feel it.)

Okay, so some of our suggested replies are a little passive aggressive. While we’re not claiming they’re the most mature responses, we do think injecting a little humor into hurt can help us sometimes:)

#8 Address Communication Issues

Whether someone is rightfully or wrongfully ignoring you, if you’re reading this post, you clearly have a problem with it. There’s a few ways to fix it:

Change your perception and expectation to be texted back in X amount of time
Get partner to change their texting patterns
A combination of both solutions

Since we can’t control other people, the easiest option is to change our perception of the problem. Sometimes, that’s warranted. For example, if we have an overly anxious personality that’s causing our worry of not being texted back, that’s on us. We need to find ways to calm ourselves while we’re waiting to be texted back. It’s not easy at all—but if we have a good partner, they should be willing to work with us through it.

On the other hand, sometimes it’s really not our perception. Sometimes the person really does take too long to text back. In these cases, it’s not on us to change. Then, we try to figure out why the other person isn’t texting back. Do they not like us? Maybe they forgot to respond, but we’re always thinking of them, so how could they forget us?

Communication About Communication with New Crushes

Although it’s not always possible to tell why someone won’t text back, it’s appropriate to stand firm in your communication standards.

How you communicate your standards depends on where you are in your relationship. For example, if you’re just getting to know someone, you don’t know their communication patterns yet. At this stage, communicating about communicating can be way too heavy. You also don’t have enough evidence. Did they just have a busy week or is their communication really that awful? If you don’t know the answer, don’t jump the gun. Instead, double-text to see if you can better learn their patterns. You may say:

“Hey, are we still on for that drink on Friday?”
“Seems like you had a busy week. Just wanted to check-in and see how you were doing?”
“Seen this really cool [THING] and thought of you” [with attached pic, link, gif, etc.]

How they respond (or not) can give you more info to decide if you want to continue pursuing the person. If they don’t respond or their communication seems bad, why continue texting? Even if you could fix it, you can meet other people who already get you.

Communication About Communication with Established Partners

On the other hand, if you’ve been dating or are in a relationship with someone for a while, you may know the patterns. Since this happens frequently, you’d address it differently. Nicely tell the person what you like in terms of communication and how you wish they’d respond. But, you want to avoid making it sound like a lecture or like you’re scolding them; that will put anyone on the defense. You could say something like:

“I noticed you really don’t seem to like texting but it makes me feel closer to someone when we text a little throughout the day. Do you think that’s possible?”
“I know you don’t like texting but I miss you throughout the week, so I’m just wondering how we can feel closer.”
“You should text me back more. It really turns me on.” (Cute, playful, kitschy but to-the-point)
“I really love it when you text me this much.” (Positive re-enforcement when good texting happens).

If the person changes, they clearly care enough to stay in your life. That’s a good sign.

If they stay the same and continue ignoring your texts, they could be uninterested in you (in which case, that sucks so bad, but you really deserve someone who appreciates you).

…Or, maybe they don’t change simply because they don’t see the point or are too lazy. Maybe they insist your values are the ones that need to change; you’re too needy and overbearing.

While everyone is entitled to their own “texting preferences,” that doesn’t exclude you! Your needs are important. If a guy or woman doesn’t understand why they need to talk to you every day, that’s ok. They’re allowed to feel how they feel. But the fact you like to keep in contact with a partner is completely normal. You shouldn’t need to compromise that. So don’t. Find someone else who can communicate at a level you think is proper.

Summary: Focus on YOUR Control When There’s No Text Back

Again, if you’re reading this, it’s probably because you’re feeling overly anxious about someone not texting you back. That feeling is super crappy. We’re not going to lie, we don’t know of any healthy ways to get that to go away instantly.

But, a good way to lower your anxiety about no-texts-back is to focus on your control. You can’t control whether someone texts back, or what they say if they do. Although you can change some things about yourself, you have no control over who likes you or doesn’t. So, what can you control? Here’s a list:

Who you pursue
Whether you continue pursuing someone who doesn’t meet your communication standards
How you react to no-text-backs
What you do during your text back waiting time (ex. soothing, distraction, etc.)
What you do long-term to control your no-text-back anxiety (ex. professional therapy for clinical anxiety disorder, learning coping strategies, etc.)

Spiritual Journey: 6 Tools to Develop Your Own Beliefs

YoHumanz

Table of Contents

Learning spirituality is an exciting, enlightening and rewarding process, but how do you get started?

With all the information in the world at your fingertips, it can be a hard decision where to target first. And with contradictory beliefs, it can be hard to establish your own.

This post rewinds the process and brings the focus to the very beginning of a spiritual journey, making you ready for lifelong development.

6 Tools to Develop Your Own Spiritual Beliefs

When you first discover the world of spirituality, it can be exciting. There’s so many areas to delve into and new things to think about. Since there’s no shortage of information, it can be overwhelming to know where to start. Here’s some resources you can use to gain a sense of spirituality that feels true to who you are.

#1 Books

Reading books is a great start to introducing yourself to spirituality. Unlike a novel, you don’t want to rush through most self-development books, including spiritual ones. Give yourself time to digest the words and see if or how they apply to your life. Reading too much at one time can make everything jumble together, and you won’t remember the specifics of what each section is trying to teach you.

It can be a good idea to assign a certain amount of time to each chapter, say at least 3 days, or even a week. This gives you time to recall the information, and apply it to your life, if necessary.

There are books on a multitude of subjects: Everything from self-help based spiritual learning, to developing your psychic skills. If you don’t know what book to pick up first, I recommend trying a book by Dr. Wayne Dyer. Dyer’s books make spiritual information easy to understand, and he presents it in such a loving way, that you too will pick up on the loving energy.

#2 Online Sources

Perhaps more accessible than books, online sources can give anyone almost any information they need. Doing a simple Google search on your areas of interest can lead you to something enlightening. You can also search for some motivational speeches by spiritual speakers on YouTube. Another idea to use Pinterest to find info on your area of interest and repin anything that sparks your interest. Following spiritual accounts on Facebook, Instagram and Instagram can also help inject some spirituality throughout the day.

#3 Talking to Others

Start paying attention to the beliefs of others, and not immediately shunning out an idea just because you’ve never thought of it. Keep an open mind. When you’re speaking to family or friends, you can bring up a spiritual subject that interests you, and see where it leads. On the other hand, if you know the group won’t respect your beliefs, it can be best to find a group that does.

If you have no one around you that shares the same interests, seek them out. Go to places where they may hang out (Meditation centres, areas in libraries, yoga classes). If this does not work, you can go online. Find them in Facebook groups, on Twitter, Instagram or forums.

If you have any spiritual questions, try consulting others who you view to be smart in that area. This can include sending an e-mail to the author of a particular article you found interesting, or asking a psychic a parapsychology questions during a reading. There’s many options when it comes to connecting with others, whether online or in-person.

#4 Classes

If you are more of a hands-on person, perhaps you could try classes pertaining to a specific area of spiritual interest. Classes could include meditation, yoga, reiki, etc. You can also attend seminars or motivational speeches given by someone you consider to be very spiritually advanced.

If you’d rather try something online, there’s plenty of spiritual classes that connect you with other students. Try searching for some in your area of interest. If you’re pressed for cash, YouTube has a bunch of informal lessons and informational videos that are similar to classes.

#5 Audio

If you’re not a big reader, you can always listen instead. It’s a great way to uplift your spirits while doing chores, exercising or driving. The easiest way to do this is with audiobooks. You can search for books you like on Audible. If you have a library card, see if it works on the Libby app. Many libraries allow you to listen to many books for free.

Aside from audio books, you can also listen to podcasts. These allow us to hear another person’s point of view. Search the podcast section of Spotify to hear something in your area of interest. You may need to try out a few to find out which voices and people really capture your attention and resonate with you.

#6 Observation

The most simple, free and natural way of learning spirituality is to observe it. Spirituality is found everywhere. A good example of this in is nature. A flower blooming, leaves changing colors and the rush of waterfalls can be seen as miracles created by a higher energy. Many look past these seemingly simple things. However, if you pay attention, you can see the beauty in most things.

Besides nature, you can also learn aspects of spirituality by observing life in general. For example, instead of judging the person begging for cash, you can begin to wonder what circumstances may have led her to that point. When someone tells you a touching story, you can reflect on it and see what it may mean in the larger context of life. If you treat every relationship you have as a learning experience, you can experience a natural and humble spiritual growth.

Summary on the Spiritual Journey + Developing Your Own Beliefs

Remember learning is a process without an end. Never close yourself down to learning or think that you’re finished. Also, be open to the beliefs of others and take them into consideration. Even if you don’t agree with a specific view, think to yourself “that’s an interesting way of looking at it”.

On the other hand, you probably won’t accept all the beliefs of one person either. Just because you have a favorite author who you see as a spiritual master doesn’t mean you can’t disagree with some of their opinions. Don’t think every belief of one specific person is right; develop beliefs of your own and don’t rely on others. Then, once you have developed beliefs of your own, don’t be afraid to question them as necessary.

Questioning your beliefs in a healthy manner can lead to more growth and spiritual clarity. Most of all, don’t take learning so seriously. It’s supposed to be something that inspires and motivates you. Make learning fun and spirituality will come to you naturally.

How To Use Smoke Cleansing to Rid Yourself of Negative Energies

YoHumanz

Table of Contents

If you’ve ever watched someone sage, they’ll look like they’re waving a burning herb in the air.

The belief behind that is that the smoke will clear negative energies from spaces or people.

Although the practice is a part of Native American origin, smudging is becoming more popularized across varying spiritual beliefs.

In this post, we’ll discuss what smudging is and how you can do it yourself.

What is Smudging?

Smudging is a spiritual cleansing technique that originated from the Native American tradition and has existed for thousands of years. It started to become popularized in modern and new age spirituality. Many see it as a helpful and sacred ritual to cleanse negative energies. Some people also use it to usher out spirits or ghosts from an area in the home. Why do people think sage works for this? Some think that spirits don’t like the smell of the herbs; others think it’s your intention that sends them into the light.

Smudging can be done by anyone as long as they have sage and a lighter. The pratice consists of lighting herbs—usually sage or sweet grass— to produce smoke. That smoke is waved wherever you feel spiritual or energetic cleansing is needed. The idea is that it leaves behind a trail of positive, renewed energy.

The reported positive effects of smudging could come from the smoke itself, or the smoke just acts as a placebo (AKA the mind tricking itself into calm). In whichever case, if it makes you feel better and it’s not hurting anyone, does it matter? We say go for it!

Step-By-Step Guide on How to Smude with Sage

Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to sage.

A Few Warnings

Before we get into how to smudge, we should let you know a few things:

Illnesses. You shouldn’t smudge around people with respiratory issues. Inhaling smoke isn’t ideal for people at an increased risk to lung irritation.
Fire Alarm. If your fire alarm is sensitive and your smudge stick produces a lot of smoke, it’s possible your fire detector could go off.
Windows. Open a window to prevent the house from getting smokey. Many people also think it’s a symbol of letting the negative energy leave and the fresh energy flow in.

Step #1: Get Your Smudge Stick Ready

First, you’ll need a smudge stick, which is a bundle of dried herbs (usually sage or sweetgrass). It’s typically tied together with thread or a strip of hide. You can buy smudge sticks in local new age, spiritual or metaphysical store. They can also easily be purchased online. If you have sage or grow it in your garden, you can also make your own bundles by letting it dry out and tying it together. Another option is to place the loose herbs onto a dish (next step).

Step #2: Get Your Ash “Tray” Ready

To ensure the ashes are contained, a special heatproof container or large shell can be used to set the smudge stick in.

Step #3: Say a Prayer or Intention

Before lighting their sage, many people say a prayer or intention. For example, to clear negative energy, before starting, you can picture the darkness lifting away and leaving out the window with the smoke. You can also choose to repeat a prayer, mantra or chant throughout the entire practice.

Step #4: Light the Herbs

Using a lighter or match, light the smudge stick or loose herbs. You’re not aiming for a flame; you’re looking for a smoldering smoke. Don’t relight the stick unless the smoke has stopped before you’re finished.

Step #5: Smudge People

You can start off how you’d like, but many choose to start my smudging themselves or others in their home. This is to clear their energy and bring a sense of refreshment. Smudging yourself or others can be done by moving the lit bundle or dish of herbs so that the whole body is immersed in smoke. This is usually done by passing the bundle or dish from hand to hand around the body from top to bottom. More smoke can be pushed towards areas of the body that experience physical or emotional distress. For example, a swollen ankle or self-conscious stomach.

Step #6: Smudge Spaces

Perhaps most often, smudging is done in homes. It can be done specifically to rid the house of spirits. Or, it can be done on a routine basis to help bring in positive energy. Some people also do it after buying a new home or renting a new apartment. This is said to rid the space of old energies that make affect your new life.

The order that you smudge your home in doesn’t matter. The easiest way can be to start at your front door and make your way through, room by room, area by area. Move the sage stick or dish around the perimeter of each room, placing emphasis on each corner. I also make an X with the stick/smoke in each doorway. Some people like to walk around the room counter-clockwise as they believe it will ‘undo’ any negative energy. Others walk in whichever way they’re drawn.

You can pay particular attention to areas that you think need clearing (ex. if you had a recent fight in the living room). You can also spread the smoke to often forgot about areas too, such as under furniture or in closets or attics.

Step #7: Smudge Items

Sage can also be used on items to clear a funky energy that may be attached to them, too. For example, have you ever heard of someone bringing home ghosts after buying an antique at a secondhand shop? Some people say one way to prevent this is to smudge the item when you bring it home to get rid of any spirits or energies.

You can also smudge items that you think need it. For example, in the modern world, technology, like our phones, can hold a lot of stress and chaotic energy. These could be good to sage. Things that may be associated with upset or complicated feelings—such as mirrors—can me smudged too. You can smudge items by simply moving the lit bundle or dish so the whole item is touched by the smoke.

Step #8: End the Smudging Session

When you are done smudging, set the smudge stick or dish down. The smoke will eventually stop, but you still shouldn’t leave it unattended to be safe.

To close this ritual, some choose to say a thank you prayer.

When Do you Smudge Again?

You may smudge again whenever you feel it is necessary. You can smudge on a regular schedule (ex. every month, season, etc.). Or, you can smudge when you are feeling depressed, moving into a new house or after a big change (divorce, death, illness, etc.).

Summary on Smudging with Sage

Smudging originated as a Native American tradition. It involves the burning of sage, believed to clear negative energies and encourage new, positive ones. It may also be used to usher out spirits. You can smudge using many herbs, but the most popular is sage. You can buy or make a stage stick, or burn the loose herbs in a heatproof dish. Smudge smoke can be spread on people, throughout the home or wrapped around items. Some people smudge as the need strikes or on a routine basis as a part of a spiritual practice.

1...151617 Page 16 of 17

When you go through a breakup, sometimes it can be hard to contain your feelings.

10 Best Breakup Advice Blog

#1 HelloBreakup.com by Breakup Coach

#2 Breakup Boost

#3 Rapid Breakup Recovery: Advice for Men

#4 Psychology Todays’ Breakup Collection

#5 Lindsey Ellison Breakup Blog

#6 Breakup Survival Guide from Simply Solo

#7 Breakup Recovery Blog by Dr. Bobby

#8 Your Tango’s Breakup Section

#9 Laura Yates Breakup Blog

#10 Natasha Adamo’s Breakup Blog

#11 Reddit’s Breakup Sub

#12 With My Ex Again Blog

Summary of the Best Breakup Advice Blog

What Does Your Future Have In Store?

Sign Up for a Personalized, Hand-Shuffeled Angel Card

There’s a lot of different spiritual or “magical” things you can use to learn about yourself–or the future.

12 Tools for Divination for Deep Personal Insight

#1 Tarot

#2 Angel Cards

#3 Fairy Cards, Unicorn cards, etc.

#4 Affirmation Cards

#5 Runes

#6 Crystal Ball

#7 Pendulum

#8 Tea Leaf Readings

#9 Charm Readings

#10 Bone Readings

#11 Astrology

#12 Numerology

Summary on Tools for Divination

When you’re doing through a breakup or divorce, it may be the only thing you can think about.

104 Best Breakup Distractions

Before we jump into these quotes, we’ll address the most important thing…

57 Quotes About Change by Historic Black Leaders

“Are Breakups Easier for Men”? Here’s What 15 Guys Think

#1 Some Take it Harder

#2 It’s About How Vulnerable Someone Is

#3 It Depends

#4 I’m Sensitive, So It Hurts More

#5 Ya, It’s Easier for Guys

#6 Breakups are Actually Hard for Me

#7 Depends on the Couple

#8 Sometimes It’s Easy, Sometimes It’s Hard

#9 A To-the-Point “No”

#10 It’s Bad for Anyone You Really Like Them

#11 It’s Not Easier and It Has Long Effects

#12 It’s Worse for Men in Deep Relationships

#13 Gender Doesn’t Make a Difference

#14 No. Breakups Really Affect Me.

#15 Easy Peasy

Summary: Are Breakups Easier for Men?

When you breakup with someone, your life can change.

The Ultimate Breakup Bucket List Master list

#1 Try Out New Recipes

#2 Try Out New Exercises

#3 Get More Sleep

#4 Travel

#5 Date Around

#6 Learn Something New

#7 Find Your “Relaxation” Hobby

#8 Read a Self-Help Book

#9 Read a Relationship-Centered Book

#10 Reading a Novel

#11 Go 30 Days without Something

#11 Go 30 Days with Something

#12 Create a Mini Bucket List of Good Deeds

#13 Set Aside a Boyfriend/Girlfriend Dreaming Session

#14 Do the One Thing Your Ex Hated (Or Really, Really Liked + Give it to Someone Else)

#15 Start New Habits

#16 Rearrange/Redesign Your Space

#17 Move (if you’ve been wanting to)

#18 Have a Spa Day

#19 Eat Alone

#20 Get Rid of Your Exes Things

#21 … Get Rid of Those Pictures Too

#22 Reconnect with Family

#23 Have (At Least One) Intentional “Nothing” Day

#24 Buy New Underwear or Boxers

**What Does Your Future Have In Store?**

**#14 Do the One Thing Your Ex Hated (Or Really, Really Liked + Give it to Someone Else)**