When you start dating someone, you’re not really sure where it’s going.
Can you see yourself in a long-term relationship with them?
Do they see themselves with you too?
Often times, we don’t have “the conversation” about where the relationship stands or where it’s going.
Sometimes, the relationship develops naturally and ends up something far more serious than it started out.
So how do you know if you’re on the right track?
How do you know if the person you’re dating is getting more into it?
In this post, we’re counting 11 signs a casual relationship is getting serious.
11 Signs Casual Relationship Getting Serious
Wondering if the person you’re dating is starting to see more potential? Consider these signs of a serious relationship:
- They talk about the future with you
- They ask questions about your future
- You meet their people
- They talk about you with others
- You spend weekends together
- You do not fun things together
- They allude to love
- They talk to you a lot
- They leave things at your home
- You have deep convos
- You have “the relationship convo”
We’ll go over these main points in more detail below.
#1 They Talk About the Future
If someone is talking about their future and they’re adding you into the scene, it’s because they can see a future with you, meaning that it’s getting serious in their mind.
This could be something like asking you to be their wedding date months in advance. Or it could be planning a vacation for next summer. Sometimes, people will place you in their long-term future. For example, they joke about what a good mother or father you’d be or how you’d be such a caring wife.
#2 They Ask Questions About the Future
Maybe your partner isn’t placing your into their future just yet, but perhaps their asking questions about how you envision yours. Of course, sometimes these conversations happen early in the relationship as people don’t want to waste time. Other times though, as your partner gets more serious about you, they ask questions about your future to understand what theirs would look like for you.
A few examples would be asking about what you’d name your kids (if you want them), how you’d parent, where you’d like to live the rest of your life, what type of home is your goal, etc.
#3 You Meet Their People
This isn’t always a sign that things are getting serious. For example, if you share the same group of friends, of course you’ll hang around them. Also, some people are just more casual about introducing whoever they’re dating to family and friends.
But if you know the person you’re dating doesn’t just bring anyone home and they bring you home, they plan on keeping your around. If you’re unsure whether meeting their family or friends is special, you can simply ask them, “how many people have met your family/friends before?”
#4 They Talk About You with Others
Ok, so maybe you haven’t met their friends or family yet, but you know for a fact your partner is talking about you. Maybe they tell you stories about things they’ve mentioned about you to their family and friends. Again, if you know this person is serious about their family and friends and they bring you up, they’re probably starting to get serious about you too. After all, why talk about you if they think you’ll be gone in a few weeks?
#5 You Spend Weekends Together
In the beginning, you’ll probably schedule dates and hang outs with your partner. Maybe a Friday or Saturday night and then you’ll go home and maybe meet up during the week.
But as things get more serious, you’ll start to spend more time together and that can be one of the signs a casual relationship is getting serious. For example, if you both have weekends off, you’ll start spending the weekend at their place. Instead of going home in between visits, you’ll have a few full days together. Spending that much time with someone without a break is pretty intimate and can be a sign they’re starting to fit you into their life.
#6 They’ll Do Not Fun Things with You
When you first begin dating someone, you’ll probably go on fun dates—whether that’s eating out, visiting new places, going on walks or hikes, partying, etc.
But as the novelty of the relationship wears down, you’ll start to do more normal, day-to-day things with them. That could include seeing each other after work and cooking dinner. Stopping by while they’re doing laundry just to say hi. Or it could be just doing simple, non-exciting things, like watching TV as opposed to making every date an adventure.
Of course, if you’ve never done date things with your partner—even at the beginning—this isn’t always a sign that things are getting serious. But for many people, it’s a sign that you’re moving out of the “new” stage and into the “getting comfy/serious” with someone stage. Essentially, they’re not with you because they’re having a crazy time each time, they’re spending time because they actually want to spend time with you—no matter what that means.
#7 When They Allude to Love
It can be tough to say “I love you”. And, even when it’s not tough, it may just be too early and you know you need to wait it out longer. But that doesn’t mean the person doesn’t have very intense feelings. Sometimes, instead of saying “I love you,” people will say other things that allude to the feeling or that they’ll be in love soon.
For example, when I’m starting to fall for someone, I’ll say something like “I really like you” or “I really like how this is going” or “I’m super happy about this.” People could also be more blunt, such as saying, “I’m falling for you.” While the love feeling may not be there yet, all of these phrases point to the fact that their emotions are getting serious.
#8 They Talk to You A Lot
Some people love texting. Some hate it. Some people love talking on the phone. I personally will avoid almost every call (come on, I’m a millennial). People’s preferences need to be taken into consideration when thinking about whether this sign applies to you. Also, some people’s jobs don’t allow them to sit and text all day, so that’s important too.
If you know the person you’re dating is a big texter and they text you once a day or every few days, it’s probably not serious and they’re not serious about you.
On the other hand, if your partner is making effort to talk to you in their free time and they’re as prompt as they can be in their responses, they’re doing it for a reason. They genuinely enjoy talking to you and they want to get to know you more—meaning it’s moving in the right direction.
#9 When They Leave Things at Your Home
You’ve probably seen this in the movies. A woman leaves a toothbrush or tampon box inside a man’s apartment and he freaks out because he sees it as a sign the woman is getting serious with him. While it isn’t true in every scenario (it could be just convenience), it’s usually one of the signs a casual relationship is getting serious. After all, if you’re leaving things at each other’s homes, it’s probably because you’re spending a lot of time there. And if you’re spending a lot of time there, it’s probably because it’s getting serious.
#10 You Have Deep Convos
Things are getting serious if you’re talking to them more about serious things and less about everyday topics. When you first meet someone, you’ll get to know their hobbies, their likes and dislikes and about generally about then. If things progress though, you’ll get into the deeper things, like:
- Their fears
- Their dreams
- What they’re self-conscious about
- Their past relationships
- Their past traumas
- Their opinions on tough issues
#11 You Have The Conversation
Look, sometimes we can’t tell whether someone is serious about us or not. Maybe we’re bad at reading signs a casual relationship is getting serious. Maybe we have low self-confidence and we can’t really believe someone would like us that much. Or maybe the person is shy and takes time to open up, so we can’t be sure.
In these cases, it’s best to be open and have the conversation. Although almost everyone dreads the “where is this going conversation,” it almost always gives you an answer. If you’re having trouble understand whether your dating partner is as serious as you, just ask. It’s hard to be vulnerable. And it’s hard to chance hearing something you probably don’t want to hear. But in any case, you’ll likely have your answer. Try opening the conversation with, “hey, I have to ask you, can you see us going anywhere long-term?” If you’ve just started dating, you don’t want to scare the person away by talking serious already. But if it’s been awhile and you’ve put in the time and effort to know them, you both deserve to know if you’re wasting your time.
Summary: Signs Casual Relationship Getting Serious
If you’re unsure whether the person you’re dating is starting to get serious about the relationship, consider the signs a casual relationship is getting serious. Picture yourself and whether these apply to you. Of course, even if we try to read other’s actions, we could be wrong. The only way to know for sure how someone is feeling is to ask them. Although these conversations can be vulnerable and awkward, they’re often necessary if you’re feeling unsure about the state of the relationship or where it’s headed.