Online dating questions can reveal secrets and dealbreakers.
They’re a great way to find out about a person before spending too much time on them. You’ll learn about their personality, their behaviors, feelings and how they view the world around them.
All of this can help you answer the ultimate question: Is this person right for me?
In this guide, we’re sharing the best online dating questions, split into 3 categories: Basic, fun and deep. To help your conversation flow smoothly, we’re also sharing the best online dating tips for eliciting good answers.
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Online Dating Tips for Asking Questions
Asking online dating questions is a good way to get to know someone. But if you don’t ask in the right way, people might feel they’re being interrogated. They might also give you the answers they think you want to hear instead of the truth. How can you dig deeper and learn about the person you swiped right on?
When it comes to online dating questions, consider these online dating tips.
How to Begin Asking Online Dating Questions
How do you start asking online dating questions without making the person feel they’re in an FBI interview? Here’s a few options:
- Start by asking easy, standard questions first (i.e. “what do you do for a living?”) and very slowly work your way toward serious questions. This way, the person will understand that you’re just trying to learn about them and won’t be alarmed by the gravity of the questions.
- Say or ask the person, “Wanna play a game of 20 questions?”
- Say “small talk is boring, I have more interesting questions if you’re up for it?”
Be Non-Judgemental
When you ask someone a question, sometimes you have an ideal answer in mind. However, people aren’t always ideal. When you hear something you didn’t expect, try to be non-judgemental. Unless it’s a dealbreaker, reacting strongly to an answer can limit what they say next time. Instead of remaining open, they may close off or shut down, expecting to be judged again.
Ask Follow-Up Questions
Consider these online dating questions as starters. The most interesting questions often come from follow up questions. Ask yourself where you can dig deeper. Common follow up questions include:
- How did you feel about that?
- What happened next?
- Why?
- Focusing on something specific they said
For example, let’s say you ask someone a basic online dating question, like “what’s your least favorite food.” They might say, “Kale, except for one time I had it and it was really good.” You could then ask, “why did you like Kale that time? How was it cooked differently.”
With online dating questions, follow-up questions are also ideal for emotional topics. For example, let’s say you ask about the person’s relationship with their father and they say they don’t have a relationship with him. Instead of moving onto the nest question, you could ask “why don’t you have a relationship with him? What happened?”
Respect Boundaries
When you’re asking someone online dating questions, chances are you don’t know them too well yet. For that reason, they may not be comfortable sharing everything. That’s okay. We want our partners to be open with us, but they don’t have to do it all at once. If someone says they don’t want to talk about a topic, respect their boundaries. Remember that it takes trust to be vulnerable with someone. It’s normal if they don’t have that trust yet. To respect boundaries, you can use phrases like:
- “You don’t have to answer if you’re not comfortable. But my question is…”
- “Is this hard for you to talk about? If so, we don’t have to talk about it right now.”
- “Can I ask about you [sensitive topic]?”
Ramp Up The Seriousness of Questions
If you plan on asking several online dating questions, think about the order you’ll ask them in. It’s a good idea to start with the easy, standard questions first and work your way up to the serious ones. For example, you’d want to ask “What’s your favorite food” before “When did your dad leave your family?”
That’s because it builds trust. Someone is unlikely to be vulnerable out the gate. Give them time to warm up and they’ll probably be more open.
Make Sure They Ask Questions Too
You can usually tell how much someone cares about you by how many personal questions they ask you. If someone is just looking for a body or to fill a void, they’ll date anyone, so learning about them personally doesn’t matter. If someone is looking for someone seriously, they’re curious about you and how you might fit into their life. For that reason, they’ll ask questions to get to know you.
If you’re the only one asking questions, maybe you should be asking yourself one important question instead: Why?
When people are genuinely interested in knowing each other, questions will go back and forth.
133 BEST Online Dating Questions
As we mentioned in the online dating tips section above, it’s a good idea to start off with basic questions and slowly move toward serious topics. We’ve organized these online dating questions into 3 categories to help you tailor your conversation.
Basic Online Dating Questions
- What do you do for a living?
- What do you love about your job?
- What annoys you most about your job?
- What type of relationship are you looking for?
- What’s your favorite food?
- What’s your least favorite food?
- What’s your ideal life in 5 years? 10 years?
- What are you looking for in a partner?
- Name one of your pet peeves?
- What are your hobbies?
- Do you have any pets?
- What’s your favorite season?
- What’s your favorite holiday?
- Are you more of an introvert of an extrovert?
- What’s your favorite movie?
- What’s your favorite show?
- Do you listen to any podcasts?
- Who’s your favorite singer/band?
- What’s your favorite song?
- Do you like cooking?
- How do you like your coffee?
- What’s your go-to drink?
- How much time do you spend with your family?
- Which family member are you closest to?
- What does the ideal relationship look like to you?
- Do you consider yourself more of a private or open person?
- Tell me some of your dealbreakers?
- Are you a religious person?
- What was your favorite subject in school?
- Do you have any allergies?
- Would you rather go out or stay in?
- Are you more of a messy or clean person?
- What’s your favorite meal of the day?
- Do you have any role models?
- What are your top priorities right now?
- Are you more of a city or small town person?
Fun Online Dating Questions
- If you were stranded on a desert island, what 3 items would you bring?
- If you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
- If a genie granted you 3 wishes, what would you wish? (you can’t wish for more wishes)
- What’s your biggest turn off?
- What kind of stuff turns you on?
- Do you like parties?
- Do you have any special talents?
- If you weren’t a [job title], then what else would you be?
- What’s your idea of the perfect Saturday night?
- Where was your last vacation?
- Where would you like to travel?
- Tell me 3 things on your bucket list?
- If you could learn any skill, what would it be?
- What’s the nicest gift you’ve ever received?
- What’s the nicest gift you’ve ever given?
- If you could live anywhere, where would you love?
- What’s something people would be surprised to learn about you?
- If you were to write an auto biography, what would you title it?
- Do you like camping?
- What calms you down?
- If you could start a business tomorrow, what type of business would you start?
- Do you believe in astrology?
- When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
- What was your first job?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
- What accomplishment are you proudest of?
- What’s your go-to news source?
- What was your last dream about?
- Do you think dreams have meaning?
- Do you believe in ghosts?
- What do you think happens when we die? Do you believe in reincarnation?
- What chore do you hate most?
- Do you play board games? What’s your favorite?
- If you could meet one celebrity, who would you choose?
- If you were having a bad day, how could I make it better?
- What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
- Can you swim?
Deep Online Dating Questions
- How’s your relationship with your mom?
- How’s your relationship with your dad?
- How’s your relationship with your siblings?
- What’s something you regret about your life?
- What red flags do you look for in relationships?
- If you could change your upbringing, what would you change about it?
- If you had kids, what would you do differently than your parents?
- Do you believe in gender roles in relationships?
- Have you ever lost someone close to you?
- What’s the biggest risk you’ve ever taken?
- Do you consider yourself a jealous person?
- If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
- What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
- What’s your favorite thing in a partner?
- What’s something I might do that would upset or anger you?
- What’s the last thing you got angry about?
- How do you react when you’re angry at someone?
- When’s the last time you cried?
- When’s the last time you were over-the-moon happy?
- Have you ever been to therapy?
- How did your previous relationships end?
- What’s one thing your ex criticized you about that you agree with?
- Are you happy with how your life has turned out so far?
- If you could change something about your life, what would you change?
- If you were to donate to a charity or cause, what cause would you donate to?
- What are your views on [anything controversial]?
- What are your views on [anything that’s important to you. Women’s right, gay rights, trans rights, etc.]?
- What’s one of your biggest fears?
- What’s one of your biggest hopes?
- When it comes to making decisions, do you listen to your heart or your brain?
- What makes someone a “good person”? Do you think you’re one?
- Give me an example of a time you stood up for someone else?
- What’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told?
- What’s something you refuse to talk about?
- Do you want a family or would you rather live as a couple with someone?
- Tell me something nobody knows about you?
- What’s something people often get wrong about you?
- What’s the wildest argument you’ve ever been in?
- What was the most challenging period of your life?
- Name a time you changed your opinion about something.
- What do you think about workaholics?
- Do you get attached to people quickly or slowly?
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
- What’s the worst piece of advice you’ve ever received?
- How do you deal with stress?
- What makes you feel safe in a relationship?
- What’s the nicest thing you’ve done for someone?
- What’s the meanest thing you’ve said to someone?
- Tell me a controversial opinion you have?
- In your past relationships, what did you argue about?
- Do you care about what other people think?
- In the past, what’s something someone did to really hurt you?
- What was the scariest moment in your life?
- How many times has your heart broken?
- What kind of things make you sad or depressed?
- What’s something you find addictive?
- What do you think is special about yourself?
- What’s a habit you’d like to change (ex. smoking, drinking, working too much, etc.)?
- What’s something you wish I would have asked about?
Summary: Online Dating Questions
Asking online dating questions is a great way to get to know someone new. To make the most of it, make sure to follow our online dating tips. When asking online dating questions, try to work your way up to the more serious topics. Unless it’s a dealbreaker, try to be accepting of the answers to win more vulnerability. The most important tip for asking online dating questions? Make sure to ask follow-ups. These help deepen the conversation and lead you to learn things you might not have otherwise.
