33 Life-Changing Positive Affirmations for Anxiety + Anxious People

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Could repeating that you’re not anxious make it so?

Some people tend to think so. And there’s also some evidence to back it up.

While affirmations don’t work for everyone, they can be a good tool to use to calm down when your heart rate rises and your mind feels like it’s spinning out of control.

In this post, we’re talking about what these phrases are, whether they work, how you can use and 33 positive affirmations for anxiety you can try yourself.

What is a Positive Affirmation for Anxiety?

Anxiety affirmations are affirmations that people can repeat out loud, inside their heads or write repeatedly in hopes of it becoming true.

Affirmations are always written in a positive statement. For example, “this is okay, I’m just uncomfortable” as opposed to something negative like, “this is the worst thing in the world and this is anxiety.”

Whether affirmations work depend on the person and what you define as “working.”

For example, many people use affirmations to build their confidence in a subject over a period of time. For example, repeating that you’re comfortable in socially anxious situations may eventually lead to feeling calmer. Of course, it’s not always that simple though.

Other people use positive affirmations for anxiety as a manifestation tool. If you believe in the Law of Attraction or “like attracts like,” then you may think that sending out good vibes will get you more of them. In this way, you may attract an anxiety-free life, in theory.

But there’s a more simple explanation to why affirmations can work. If we think about something long enough, we are more likely to come up with solutions to our challenges. Of course, if we’re thinking about anxiety in a panicking way, this is unlikely to be the case. However, if we’re contemplating anxiety in a hopeful, optimistic or productive way, we’re more likely to see opportunities to get out of that headspace.

Whether or how you believe affirmations work is up to your own beliefs. And, whether they actually work for you may be up to your own beliefs as well. If you belive an affirmation, it’s more likely to work than if it’s terribly untrue.

Do Affirmations for Anxiety Work? Here’s the Science

Before we delve into whether affirmations work, we should first start with a BIG disclaimer. If you have clinical anxiety or issues with stress management, it’s always best to seek out the advice or care of a professional. Whether it’s a doctor prescribing you medication or a therapist, a free anxiety workbook, evidence-based salutation need to be your first go to. Those are the tools most proven to work and therefore most likely to lessen your anxiety.

With that being said, there’s usually no harm in trying affirmations alongside other psychological work you’re doing.

Affirmations can work for anxiety. For some people, it takes the edge off or gives their mind something else to focus on in a moment of panic. For example, repeating “I am calm” when your heart is racing may not completely stop your racing heart, but the phrase gives you a different point of focus. And, when repeated, it may eventually lower your heart rate a bit.

Anyone that tells you anxiety affirmations always work is just not right. However, there are some reasons why affirmations could be helpful.

The Reticular Activating System (RAS)

The Reticular Activating System (RAS) is a part of the brain made up of nerves. The job of this system is to highlight what is important and discard the rest. For example, you’re walking down a busy street and you notice construction signs but not the guy in the purple hat passing you.

How the RAS works can be adjusted by other things we see. For example, a friend teaches us a new word. Then, we see that word 5 times in one week, even though we never saw it before. Magic, you say? Well, not really. What happens is that, since we learned the new word recently, our mind is more “primed” to seek it out. So, it’s likely we’ve actually seen that word before but it didn’t even enter our brain because we weren’t subconsciously looking out for it. But now that we have an awareness of it, it seems to be everywhere.

Another example: When you’re single, you probably see couples holding hands all the time. But when you’re unhappily in a relationship, you probably notice that everyone else seems to be single and enjoying it.

In terms of positive anxiety affirmations, it’s possible that when we prime our brains for “calm” opportunities or solutions, we’re more likely to find them. For example, let’s say you choose the phrase, “I’m anxious. So what? I’ll get through it.” On the surface, saying that phrase may not fix your anxiety. However, constantly repeating it may make you think about your anxiety problem more often. Then you may start to look for solutions, like “ok, I’ll get through it, but how?” Then, maybe you look up breathing techniques to calm you. Through this chain of reactions, the affirmation inspired action and worked.

Reduces Negative Thoughts

An easy explanation as to why affirmations sometimes work is that they may reduce the number of negative thoughts. When you start repeating positive phrases instead of your mind automatically choosing negative ones, you may begin to feel better.

For example, let’s say you’re in an anxious situation and your go-to thought loop is: “Omg, I feel like I’m dying but I wish I was actually dying because that would feel better. How long will this last? What are they thinking of me? Can they tell I’m freaking out?”

Now, let’s suppose you interrupt that thought loop with a positive affirmation that you repeat over and over. Suddenly, there’s less room for the negative thoughts. And, since thoughts affect how we feel, we begin to feel calmer with calmer thoughts.

The first times you try this, it may feel a bit unnatural and wonky. However, overtime, if you replace affirmations as your go-to reaction, your anxiety may lessen and lessen.

Placebo Effect for Anxiety

Another common reason given as to why affirmations work is the placebo effect. If you’re unsure what that is, the placebo effect can be most simply put as the theory that “I think it, so it happens.”

Sounds a little mystical or crazy? No, it’s really not.

In fact, before any drug is released, it goes through clinical trials. In these tests, researchers determine if the drug is more effective than a placebo. That’s because in almost every trial, there are volunteers who say they got benefits from the drug—but the drug was actually just a fake sugar pill. Even science knows that people have real reactions to fake things.

In a similar way, even though there’s nothing “magical” about affirmations, they can trigger the placebo effect, making us feel better. So, repeating “I am calm” might make you feel calmer just because you believe it will.

However, this can backfire too. If you don’t believe in what you’re repeating, you’re less likely to get that benefit. For example, if you’re at a level 10 anxiety and you repeat “I am calm,” that feeling seems so fake and unreachable that it doesn’t help. Actually, it may piss you off or make you feel worse that you can’t get there.

This is why it’s a good idea to always keep affirmations personal and realistic. While “calm” may be realistic to someone else, maybe “I’ll get through it” makes more sense to you. Over time, you can always change up and switch out your affirmations as your thoughts change and your anxiety gets better.

Benefits to Affirmations for Anxiety, According to Science

Not all research says affirmations for anxiety are beneficial. But there’s some data to back up their usage for some people.

A 2009 study found that affirmations can help change how our body responds to stress physically (i.e. feeling stressed but not having physical reactions to it.).
A study on university students with social anxiety found that those with moderate to high levels who did self-affirmation writing increased their number of social behaviors that were previously avoided. They also had reduced feelings of distress when in these situations.
In a 2010 study, researchers found affirmations about “not being crazy” for anxiety sufferers and about depression subsiding were the most helpful.
In a 2013 study, self-affirmations improved problem-solving skills in chronically stressed people who were underperforming.
An Indian study showed that affirmations had a significant effect on stress, anxiety and depression of cardiovascular disease patients.

These results are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to research on affirmations. Whether it’s phrases you say in your head or write down, self-affirmation has repeatedly shown to reduce stress. However, as we mentioned, there are exceptions. For example, one study showed that affirmations can worsen negative responses to stressors–but under certain conditions and for certain people.

How to Use Positive Affirmations for Anxiety

When it comes to using affirmations for anxiety, there’s 4 main ways you can incorporate them into your life:

Writing it down
Saying it out loud
Saying it in your head
Posting it somewhere to see repeatedly

How much you read, write or repeat the affirmation is up to you and the time you have. For example, some people write down one affirmation 40 times, as if they’re writing lines in detention. Other people say it in their head 10 times. And, some only use affirmations when an anxious moment strikes. Different things work for different people, so play around with what works for you.

Using those general guidelines, there’s some more creative ways you can use affirmations too. We suggest trying a few of the ideas below and seeing if any make you feel better. Of course, you can also adapt them to your own life or situation:

Repeat it in your head when you’re in an anxious situation
Repeat in your head before you enter an anxious situation
Write it on a sticky note and post it in your bathroom, bedroom, mirrors, car, fridge, etc.
Print them out and use magnet tape to hang it on your fridge
Repeat it in a meditation
Repeat it in your head while exercising or doing yoga
Use it as your home screen or desktop wallpaper
Make a Pinterest Affirmation board and start a collection

33 Positive Affirmations for Anxiety

Not every affirmation will resonate with you, so try a few out and see what feels right.

Anxiety isn’t dangerous. This is just discomfort.

Courage over discomfort.

The picture in my head isn’t real.

My mind is just making up stories again.

Repetition will make this easier.

I’m anxious. So what? I’ll get through it.

I’ve felt this before. I’ve got through it before.

I will be ok.

This will feel so good when it’s over.

There is no evidence for these thoughts.

I can feel fear and do it anyway.

I am safe.

Give me the courage to accept the things I cannot change.

How I feel is real. My perceptions aren’t.

I’m in the process of changing my anxiety.

I’ve done this before. I can do it again.

I’m breathing calm into my panic.

I’m taking this second by second.

I can manage this feeling.

Growth comes from discomfort.

This intense feeling always subsides.

I bring myself back to calm and peace.

Focus on this exact present moment. And this one. And this one.

Good things are just outside my comfort zone.

My best is the only real perfect.

Each time I do this, I expand my comfort zone.

Feeling anxiety means I’m trying and moving forward.

This feeling will pass.

These are only thoughts. I can change my thoughts.

I’m so proud of myself for feeling this and not running.

I’m still breathing. I’m still safe.

These physical sensations are created by my mind. I’m ok.

With each breath, my anxiety reduces.

Summary on Positive Affirmations for Anxiety

If you have anxiety or stress problems, your first line of action should be to seek evidence-based help, such as that of a doctor or therapist. Once you’ve done that, there’s typically no harm in trying out affirmations to see if they make you feel better. While they don’t work for everyone, research shows they work for some people in some situations.

We recommend scrolling through the affirmations above and picking out one or a few that feel good to you. Then, you can repeat them out loud, inside your head or write them down. Over time, you will begin to see if they’re working for you. If they aren’t, you may adjust the affirmation so that it suits your situation. Or you can try another stress reduction technique will work better. Different things work for different people, so don’t feel ashamed or feel like you failed if affirmations aren’t your thing 🙂

10 Research-Backed Couple Bonding Activities for Puppy Love Flashbacks

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YoHumanz

What if you took all the time you spent watching TV and used it to better connect with your partner?

Whether we’re in a new relationship or an old marriage, doing activities with your partner can increase your positive feelings toward them. They can help you communicate better, feel less lonely, and more connected.

Sometimes, we can get stuck in the same rut of doing the same old things. Exploring new activities can help create a new bonding experience. Or, looking at old activities through a new lens can create more meaning.

In theory, any activity a couple enjoys together can help them bond. However, there’s specific couple bonding activities that have been proven by science. Studies show that these can bring people closer together.

Read on to learn 10 science-backed couple bonding activities for better connection.

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10 Couple Bonding Activities

These couple bonding activities will help you better connect with your partner. Research proves that these things can bring people closer together. Whether you’re looking for a date night idea or something unique, consider the 10 couple bonding activities below.

A Game of Questions

Make a date out of the 20 questions game. Sit down with a drink, some snacks, and exchange questions. You can either prepare a list beforehand or pick from a list in front of you. Take turns answering the same question or ask different questions to each other.

I’m a big believer in the power of curiosity to learn about our partners and ourselves as individuals in a relationship.

One study found that curious people come off as more attractive. Others also say they feel closer to curious people, even after only one conversation. All in all? They say the trait promotes intimacy.

Asking questions is a great way to learn more about your partner: the big things and the small things. Asking follow-up questions can expand the dialogue and lead to things you’d never know otherwise. The deeper connection comes in moments of true curiosity for the asker and vulnerability for the answerer.

Cooking Together

Like many of the couple bonding activities on this list, cooking with each other can be seen as a metaphor: Working together toward a goal or outcome. Whether you reach that goal perfectly or not matters less. Your seafood curry may taste like the bottom of the sea, but you’re still together.

If you usually cook with your partner, make it a date this time. Choose a new recipe that’s a little bit out of reach. Like, something that you’ll really have to work together to pull off.

In one survey, 88% of people in a relationship said cooking together was a great way to foster communication.

Hiking or Walking

Hiking is another top choice on the list of couple bonding activities. When you’re hiking, there’s not a whole lot else to do but talk. I mean, you could be on your phone but you’re probably going to fall down a hill or walk into a tree so…

Maybe your partner isn’t much of a talker. Or perhaps you usually end up watching TV instead of connecting. Hiking can be the thing that gets you communicating. A walk could work too, but there are hills to fall down, which could mean more phone distraction.

Compared to walking in a mall, mothers and daughters who walked 20 minutes in an arboretum had more connection, more positive emotions, and fewer negative ones.

Planning a Vacation Together

Take a night and plan somewhere you want to travel to with your partner — even if you don’t think you’ll actually go. Maybe you don’t have the money or your job is too demanding right now. Do it anyway.

Why? First, it’s fun to dream, right? But really, planning is saying something bigger. It’s implying you’re expecting to be with your partner that far into the future. For long-term couples, it’s showing you still have the interest to do new things. It can also revive your sense of exploration.

Studies show that travel is often used to improve communications within relationships and may reduce the possibility of divorce. You might think you won’t end up on that dream vacation but you could. There’s some research to suggest that visualizing can help you achieve something.

Massage

Massage is another great idea for couple bonding activities. It’s perfect if you’re looking to enhance feelings of love.

Research shows that massage increases your levels of oxytocin, the love hormone associated with bonding. It also decreases adrenocorticotropin, a chemical related to stress. But do we seriously need science to back this one up? I mean massage just feels good.

Make sure to take turns and use something for easy-gliding hands. Lotion would work in a pinch but for the best experience, grab some jojoba oil and your favorite skin-safe essential oil.

Sex

Come on, you knew this would be here!

Sex is one of the top ways to bond according to everyone who likes sex — and also science.

Being physical with your partner releases oxytocin, which increases feelings of trust, love, and bonding. This could be why the more some of us have sex and cuddle, the more we want it.

Take a Dance Class

Learning how to dance together is a good way to spend time that forces you to focus on each other. As with other couple bonding activities, we can see dancing as a symbol for our relationship. As in life, you’ll learn to flow your movements together and take each step as they come.

If you’re not used to dancing as a couple, it’s also something that’s vulnerability-inducing. We don’t want to look stupid when we inevitably screw up in front of our partners or classmates. We trust our partner will be there and have our backs (sometimes literally).

Some research suggests that dancing, in combination with a reflective process, could be an effective form of couple’s therapy.

Meditating

A lot of the things on this list involve talking. This one doesn’t. It basically involves nothing.

Meditation may seem like a weird idea for couple bonding activities. It can seems boring and that’s because, for people like me, it is. I can’t fight the benefits though — which include less anxiety, more happiness, and increased concentration.

For couples who meditate together, there are even more upsides. Research suggests that “dyadic meditation,” AKA meditating with another, can make us feel more socially connected and less lonely.

Playing a Game

Whether you’re on the same or opposite team, gaming can bring passion into the night. Choose a video game or a traditional board game, it doesn’t really matter. The key is to focus on the game and enjoying intense or challenging moments together.

One study on 20 couples showed that playing games increased oxytocin levels. Researchers say we have partner touching and strategizing while gaming to thank for that.

Small caveat: If your partner is insanely competitive with sore-loser syndrome, this would be a bad way to connect.

Painting

If you’re looking for creative, couple bonding activities, try painting! Even if you’re not creative, taking a painting class together can make you better connected. You know the gaming study I just talked about above? Well, there’s more to it.

Gaming released oxytocin but the highest levels were found in men who took painting classes with their partners. Compared to women who painted, they released at least twice as much.

To get your dose of this love hormone, take a painting class or make a DIY one at home using beginner YouTube tutorials.

Get More Couple Bonding Activities

Want more ideas for couple bonding activities? Read our other guides:

Summary: Couple Bonding Activities

These couple bonding activities are great whether you’re in a new relationship or marriage. In any case, you can learn more about your partner by diving into a shared interest. Whether you’re exploring a new activity—or an old one with new intention—keep an open mind.

Remember that you people enjoy different things. While some couple bonding activities may resonate with you, others may not. Discuss as a couple how you’d like to spend your time together.

So, what are you waiting for? Turn off the TV, your phone, your to-do list and do something a little more engaging. Use this list of couple bonding activities to find new ways to connect with your partner. Experiment with a few ideas and rotate them so things don’t boring.

Monthly Advent Calendar DIY: Advent Calendar DIY Ideas

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YoHumanz

calendar diy, advent calendar diy ideas, diy birthday gift, diy Christmas gift

Forget Christmas advent calendars—give one for the entire year!

A monthly advent calendar is like giving a gift each month. They’ll have something to look forward to for a whole year.

It’s a great gift for anyone—a partner, friend, child or parent. It’s also great for long-distance relatives or relationships.

This monthly advent calendar DIY is a great idea whether for the New Year or for someone’s birthday. If you’re looking for calendar DIY ideas, you’ll love how versatile this craft is.

In this tutorial, learn how to make a DIY monthly advent calendar.

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Monthly Advent Calendar DIY: Advent Calendar DIY Ideas

This monthly advent calendar features a box for each month. Inside each box is a small wrapped gift. It’s completely customizable to your recipient. Customize the monthly calendar with important dates or birthdays. Add gifts you know your person would love

This monthly advent calendar DIY makes a great gift. Give for a Christmas or New Year’s gift to start the new year. You can also give as a birthday gift, starting with their birthday month, extending until their birthday month next year.

Step One: Gather Supplies

Before you start, gather everything you’ll need, including:

12 small cardboard boxes with lids—same or varying sizes.
1 large canvas
Hot glue gun
White glue
Paint
Paintbrushes
Tissue paper
Small gifts to fill (suggestions below)

Make sure your 12 boxes fit on your canvas. I bought all my supplies at the dollar store, so I could line up the boxes to see if they’d fit on the canvas. You can buy boxes of the same or different sizes.

It’s also helpful to plan your monthly gifts beforehand. That way, you’ll know the size of the box you’ll need if you have something in mind. For example, for the month of December, I planned to give Christmas ornaments as the gift, so I needed to use a larger box.

Step 2: Paint Canvas and Boxes

First, paint your canvas. Then paint your box sides and box lid sides. Since you’ll be gluing a calendar on the lid, you don’t really need to paint the top. Let dry.

You can use the same paint for the canvas and boxes or switch it up. Consider your recipient’s favorite color or something to go with their décor.

Step 3: Design Monthly Calendars + Glue On

The next step requires a bit more work. First, measure the size of your box lids. This is easier if your boxes are the same size. However, if they’re different like mine, that’s okay. You’ll just need to resize your calendars for different months.

Use your favorite program to create calendars for each of the months. I use Canva because they have free calendar templates. I just tweak the colors to my own preference. You can use this template as inspiration (signing up is free). For other years, search “calendar” in the “templates” section on Canva to see pre-made calendars for each month. Copy the calendar and paste it back into your template and resize/redesign.

On Canva, create a page for each monthly calendar. (If you start on the person’s birthday month, remember to switch years). Add in holidays, family birthdays or special days to the person. For these days. I fill in the box so it stands out.

Change the colors to match your calendar design. I chose a few shades darker than my pink paint.

If your boxes are different sizes, decide on the layout. Which size boxes belong to each month? Resize the boxes of the appropriate months.

Print, cut out and glue on the box lids.

Step 4: Glue Boxes to Canvas

Arrange your box bottoms on the canvas.

Use hot glue to attach the boxes in place. Try to glue them as straight as possible (I suck at this).

Step 5: Fill Boxes

Fill the boxes with gifts for each month. They might be gifts related to the month or time of year. Or they could be random things you know your recipient likes or needs.

Here’s some ideas:

Candies
Hot cholate packs
Single tea packaged tea
Mini picture frame
Magnets
Mini canvas paintings
Mini love letters or words of encouragement
Snacks
Small jams or honeys
Spices
Jewelry
Makeup
Essential oils
Creams or lotions
Nail polish
Small toys
Tickets for an event
Socks
Gloves
Panties/boxers
Trinkets
Gift cards
Gift certificates for services like massage, manicure, etc.
Cash
Crystals

Wrap your small gifts in tissue paper. Consider the color of your paper too. I kept with the pink theme and chose hot pink tissue paper.

Step 6: Finish Advent Calendar

Put the calendar box tops onto the boxes.

Your recipient can lean the box calendar against a mantlepiece or other furniture piece. To hang it, attach a hanging piece on the back with a wire. (Just make sure the weight of your gifts is light enough to be hung).

Print Recipe

Monthly Advent Calendar DIY: Advent Calendar DIY Ideas

This monthly advent calendar DIY can be given as a holiday, birthday or random surprise gift. Fill each box with something your recipient will love. They’ll look forward for the entire year to come.

Keyword: advent calendar diy ideas, birthday advent calendar, calendar diy, diy birthday gift, diy christmas gift, diy new years gift, diy personalized birthday gift

Equipment

12 small cardboard boxes with lids—same or varying sizes.
1 large canvas
Hot glue gun
White glue
Paint
Paintbrushes
Tissue paper
Small gifts to fill (suggestions below)

Instructions

Gather your supplies. Make sure all 12 boxes fit on your canvas.
Paint canvas.
Paint box sides and box lid sides. Let dry.
Use hot glue to attach boxes to large canvas.
Measure your box lids with a ruler. These dimensions will be used tocreate your calendar top design.
Use a program to create 12 monthly calendars to print and paste on your box lid tops. See post for Canva template inspiration. You can also create a new document on Canva.com using your box dimensions. In the document, create a new page for each month. Search “calendar” in the “templates” section. Find a template you like and copy each monthly calendar and design to your own colors/size. Add your own custom dates/holidays. If your boxes are different sizes, which size boxes belong to each month? Resize the calendars boxes according to your measurements.
Print out the 12 calendars and cut out. Use white glue to paste on the box lids. Let dry.
Fill the boxes with monthly gifts. If there’s room, wrap in colored tissue paper that matches your design.
Place lids on the boxes.
For lighter lights, make advent calendar into a wall hanging. Use hanging pieces and wire. For heavier advent calendars, lean against a mantlepiece or other furniture.

Summary: Monthly Advent Calendar DIY

This monthly advent calendar DIY makes a great gift for the holidays, New Year’s or birthday. It also makes a great “just because” gift. These calendar ideas make your recipient look forward to the entire year ahead! Customize it with small gifts you know they’ll love or find meaningful.

7 Texts To Make Him Smile All Day—Guaranteed!

By

YoHumanz

Texts to Make Him Smile, texts to make her smile, texts to make them smile, texts to make someone smile

Want to make their day better?

Just a brief moment of your time can bring a smile to someone’s face.

Whether it’s a note of gratitude or a compliment, sending someone nice messages is free. Yet, we don’t do it nearly enough.

Here’s 7 texts to make him smile. You can send these texts to your partner or anyone else you want to make smile.

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7 Texts to Make Him Smile

Bring a little more joy into the world today with your words. Say the things you wish other people would say to you. Or say the things you most cherish about your person. Below are some ideas for texts to make him smile.

#1 “I’m Thinking of You”

Short and to the point, this is one of texts to make him smile that says exactly what you’re thinking. The reason you want to brighten their day is that you’ve thought about them and want them to know.

This text works as a sweet message to a partner, letting them know you’re on their mind. But it’s also appropriate to send a friend going through a rough time. Kind of like a text hug.

You can get specific with it too. For example, “I’m thinking of your laugh” or “I’m thinking about what a best friend/sister you are.”

#2 “Just a Daily Reminder Of…”

When you’re looking for texts to make them smile, consider what you want the person to know about themselves. What do you wish your partner, friend or family was reminded of every day? Put it into a message.

Consider what’s going on in that person’s life and where they might like some support.

A few examples:

“Just a daily reminder of how smart you are” to send a child who’s nervous about her first week of college
“Just a daily reminder of how beautiful you are” to a partner working on her self esteem
“Just a daily reminder of what a good father you are” to a brother with a newborn
“Just a daily reminder of how kick-ass you are” to a friend who’s started a new job

#3 “Good Morning. Hope You Have a Great Day :)”

Who doesn’t love a good morning text? It’s one of the best texts to make him smile.

Even if someone is in a rush, they can respond to it when they have time. Starting their day off with someone rooting for them is always positive energy.

You could send this message on a special day, such as the first day of school, job interview or first date. However, many people would be happy to receive it on any random day.

#4 “I Picked Up a Surprise for You”

These are one of the texts to make him smile that will most definitely bring on a curious grin.

Who doesn’t love good surprises, especially when they’re in the form of random gifts?

Only send this message if you actually got the person a surprise. This could include anything you picked up that made you think about them. Or something that you know they love.

The surprises you choose depend on the person and your relationship. Here’s a few ideas:

Flowers
Snacks
Candy
Chocolate
Movie ticket
Concert ticket
Wine or beer
Take out dinner
Something related to a hobby they like
A clean house/kitchen/bedroom

After you have the gift, send them the message and let them stew over the surprise all day.

#5 “Thank You for [Anything]”

Many times, we’re grateful for the people in our lives but we forget to tell them. When someone does something nice or goes out of their way, send texts to make him smile.

Or, if someone is kind to you in general, thank them for that too.

Below are a few examples.

Thank you for:

“Always being there for me”
“Always doing the laundry”
“Looking after my kids on Fridays”
“Never judging my relationship issues”
“Being a good partner/child/parent”
“Loving me”

Saying thank you not only makes the person feel good, but it could also benefit you too. Appreciated people tend to do more when they know you recognize their efforts. One study showed when bosses were appreciative, their employees worked harder.

#6 “I’m So Lucky I Met You”

Out of all the texts to make him smile, this one is the sweetest. After we’ve known our partner or friend for a while, we see the overview of our relationship. When we zoom into the beginning of it, we may realize we’re lucky to have met them in the first place.

Maybe it was chance that you took that class together, worked in the same building, or went to the same bar. It could have never happened, but it did. And we’re lucky for it.

Send a text reminding them of how lucky you are that the situation occurred and that they’re still in your life today. If you can, share a few reasons why you’re lucky. Tell them about how your life has changed positively since meeting them. What have you learned from them? How have they contributed? All of this can be written in texts to make him smile.

#7 “This Song Reminds Me of You”

Find a positive song that reminds you of your person and send it to them saying, “this song reminds me of you.”

If you’re looking for one to send your partner, there’s millions of love songs to choose from. For texts to make him smile, consider choosing a song he already knows and loves.

But there’s also many songs that you could use to describe a friend or family member too. If you’re looking for ideas, here’s a list of 69 songs about being beautiful inside and out.

When to Send Texts to Make Him Smile

Send texts to make him smile at any time! People love random sweet surprises throughout the day.

You can also send messages at specific times. For example, if your partner has been feeling crummy lately, show them some extra love with texts to make him smile. Remind them that they’re doing their best and that you love and care for them. Little words of inspiration throughout the day and give your partner the energy and hope they need to carry on. It can also serve as the confidence boost they need to start feeling better. In any case, sending texts to make him smile can make him feel less alone during a difficult time. Show your support with words.

Try sending texts to make him smile on big days too! If he has a big day at work, job interview or important appointment, send some words of encouragement. Think about what would make your partner feel comforted, confident, motivated and ready for that day.

When sending texts to make him smile, the best tip is to be genuine. Rather than simply copying something off the list above, make it your own. Don’t be generic. Be specific. What about your partner is different from the rest? Take these and use them as compliments to weave throughout your messages.

Summary: Texts To Make Him Smile

Sending texts to make him smile can brighten his day and give them the energy to power on. It helps strengthen bonds and it makes you feel good too. Pick one of the text messages to make him smile and try it out today.

3 Card Tarot Spread: 4 Simple Tarot Layouts For Complex Lives

By

YoHumanz

3 card tarot spread, simple tarot layout

A 3 card tarot spread is great for both beginners and advanced tarot readers.

In a quick glance, you can get an idea of the energy surrounding a situation and gain clarity on how to move forward. Tarot can also be used as a self-development tool, helping you consider perspectives you may be overlooking.

To find the best 3 card tarot spread for your situation, keep reading.

Table of Contents

3 Card Tarot Spread: 4 Simple Tarot Layouts

If you’re looking for a simple tarot layout or 3 card tarot spread, browse the options below. Before choosing one, consider what you’re looking to get out of your reading. What questions are you looking for clarification on? With a 3 card tarot spread or any other, remember to ground yourself and say a prayer or intention for protection before beginning.

Triangle of Influence

This is a great 3 card tarot spread to do if you’re looking to delve into the influences affecting you. You can use this spread to understand the influences affecting your current life in general. Or you can use it to look at what’s influencing a situation, such as a work promotion. The first card is about positive factors currently affecting the situation. These are ones you should try to gain more of. The second card digs into the things that are negatively influencing the situation. If you can, you may try to minimize these. Finally, the last card in this 3 card tarot spread helps us understand the role we’re playing in our own life or situation. This can help reveal blocks or challenges we need to work on. It may also indicate that we’re doing everything we can—sometimes too much—to control the situation.

Positive influences I should get more of. What good factors are affecting the situation? Ask yourself how you can amp these up.
Negative influences I should try to minimize. In this three card tarot spread, this card represents the factors that are bringing out the negative aspects in your life or the situation. If you can, try to reduce these.
My role currently or role in the situation. You’re the main character in your own life or situation. What’s the script you’re writing? How do you show up in your movie?

Reflection

This 3 card tarot spread helps you reflect on yourself and where you’re spending your energy. What are you focusing on too much and too little? And what’s something actionable you can do to improve your life or situation? This is a great layout to try whether you’re wondering about a specific life situation, or you’re just curious for some general life reflection.

What am I focusing on too much? What are you spending too much time, energy or thought on? This card in the 3 card tarot spread points to something you should try to minimize. It may indicate a factor or behavior that’s working against your desire or goal.
What do I need to focus on more? This card helps you understand where you should put more of your time and energy. Keeping your mind on this should get you to progress easier toward your desire or goal.
How I can support myself at this time. In this 3 card tarot spread, this card represents something actionable you can do to support yourself. This could be tips to bettering your mentality around life or a situation. It could also be behavioral actions to help you move closer toward your goal, desire or life you want.

Action Ladder

This 3 card tarot spread is ideal if you’re looking for practical advice on what you can do. Like a ladder, it’s designed to bring you closer to the best outcome. Use this layout to inquire about a specific situation, question or area of life. Start off by assessing the general energy of the situation or question. The second card in this 3 card tarot spread gives you a specific action to put you on the right path. And to close out, the third card lets you know the most likely outcome of the recommended action.

Represents the situation you’re hoping for clarity on. The first card in this 3 card tarot spread represents the situation in question. What do you need answers about and what’s the current energy surrounding it?
A suggested action to take. This card dives straight into an action you can take to improve or progress the situation. It represents practical advice that will bring you closer to your desired goal or outcome.
Most likely outcome of suggestion action. What’s the most likely outcome of the action suggestion in the card prior? Sometimes, this card points to the successful achievement of a goal or desired outcome. It may also symbolize the work that still lays ahead and provide wisdom for future challenges. Remember that last card in this 3 card tarot spread represents the most likely outcome only if you take the action suggested. (And since everything is subject to free will, it could change for other reasons too)

Tired of Everything

Sometimes we feel tired of everything and we just need a break. This 3 card tarot spread can both give hope and highlight a possible path forward. It serves as a comforting hug from spirit when you need a pick me up. The first card gives specific advice about your situation, the second gives you advice to regain hope. Lastly, what can you look forward to?

Advice from spirit on a current challenge. What spirit wants to tell you about this current challenge you’re facing or time in your life.
A tip for uplifting your spirit or regaining hope. Something spirit recommends you can think or do to boost your hope and amp up your energy again. This could be actionable advice or words or encouragement.
Something you can look forward to in the future. The last card in this 3 card tarot spread hints a something in the future that you can be thankful for and look forward to.

Summary: 3 Card Tarot Spread

These 3 card tarot spreads are perfect whether you’re looking for a simple tarot layout for beginners or you’re an advanced reader. Use the layout above to help you reflect and gain insight on your current circumstances. As always, remember that everything is subject to freewill.

14 Toxic Relationship Signs to Check For Immediately—Run!

By

YoHumanz

While some toxic relationship signs are covert and can be hard to spot, others are glaringly obvious.

This doesn’t mean we’ll address them though. Often, we overlook signs of a toxic relationship because we love a person. Or, because we don’t want to change ourselves.

Although your love may attach you to a person, consider that the bond is destroying you mentally and physically.

These are 14 toxic relationship signs to check your relationship for.

An Important Note: Although you can read these toxic relationship signs to evaluate a situation yourself, you may consider getting the unbiased perspective of a therapist. If you’re in an abusive relationship, you can get resources and advice on taking steps to leave by calling a free hotline.

Table of Contents

Toxic Relationship Meaning

To understand if your relationship is unhealthy, you might be wondering the toxic relationship meaning.

A toxic relationship is essentially an unhealthy relationship that can take many forms. A toxic relationship could involve conflicts that can’t be resolved. On the extreme end, it could also be classified as abuse.

A toxic relationship could be created by one or both partners. Typically, partners refuse to leave each other, even though their conflict or situations are irresolvable.

In a healthy relationship, partners will realize it isn’t working out and it’s becoming unhealthy. As a result, one or both partners will end it. In an unhealthy relationship, one or both partners aren’t happy, yet don’t want to end it because they love, care or are attached to one another. In some cases, partners may make repeat attempts to split, only to end up together again.

Many times, toxic relationships involve co-dependency. One or both partners feels they “need” the other, or they “need to be needed.” This could be one reason you might find yourself spotting many toxic relationship signs in every partner you meet.

To help you better understand the toxic relationship meaning, read the toxic relationship signs in this post.

Unhealthy Relationships and Toxic Relationship Signs

When looking at toxic relationship signs, you might relate to none, a few or a lot. A toxic relationship could check off one or many of the items on the list below.

Remember that each relationship is unique and as such, we can’t possibly list all the toxic relationship signs. Just because something isn’t on this list doesn’t mean it’s not toxic.

While we usually call other people toxic, we have to look at ourselves too. Do you see your own behaviors in any of the toxic relationship signs?

To truly take inventory of your relationship, it could be helpful to have an unbiased, outside source. Talking to a therapist can help you understand whether your situation is unhealthy. When appropriate, counseling can also help you see the role you play. Since we all can have some toxic relationship signs from time to time, a therapist can point them out easier, guiding you to fix them. If you can’t afford a therapy, ask your doctor about free local resources. Health community centres can also be a good place to ask. You can also search “sliding scale therapists” to find a professional who will charge affordably based on your income.

Ultimately, if you spot toxic relationship signs and things aren’t changing, you might decide it’s time to end it. That’s often the best decision for yourself and the other person. Remember that the difficult choice and the right choice are often the same choice.

You might feel bad about breaking up or divorcing. But it could literally be ruining your health.

In one study, researchers tracked 10,000 people for over 12 years. They learned that those in negative relationships had a higher risk for heart problems, including life-threatening cardiac issues. As if being emotionally unhealthy wasn’t enough, it might also make us physically unhealthy.

To get a jump start on emotional freedom after the split, read How to Get Over Someone You Love: 30-Day Breakup Challenge.

14 Toxic Relationship Signs to Check For

To drill down the toxic relationship meaning further, we can look at some toxic relationship signs. Ask yourself if you see these in your relationship. If so, what’s the impact?

#1 The Relationship is Confusing

If a relationship is confusing, that’s a good sign it’s not a healthy one.

Confusion often means you don’t know where you stand with the person. One moment you’re good, and the next it’s really bad. You can relate to the roller coaster of emotions an on and off relationship brings. After a bad argument, you’ve suddenly broken up again.

It doesn’t always include anger though. Maybe you or your partner are just hot and cold. One moment they really like you and the next, it seems like they’re pulling away. Despite your efforts to fix the situation, it keeps flopping back and forth.

A healthy relationship is one that’s stable and one you can count on.

#2 Gaslighting

The nature of gaslighting is that it’s confusing. Gaslighting is a common among toxic relationship signs. Gaslighting can take many forms, which we’ll discuss in this post too. Mainly, you’ll find your partner’s words confusing. What they say won’t line up to other credible information.

The list of ways your partner may confuse you is endless. Here are two common ones:

Actions and Words Don’t Align. They may say one thing and do another. They may treat you like crap, but give you loving words all day. Or, they may do nice things for you, but say the cruelest things. It’s confusing because it’s almost as if they’re half good and half bad. We end up thinking we’re being too negative. We look at all their positive qualities on the other side. When we bring up our concerns, our partner gets angry and points to all their positives or things they “do for us.”
They Deny Words or Actions. Gaslighters straight-up deny things. If you think “am I hallucinating?” but you only seem to be hallucinating with one person, it’s probably them. You might ask them to apologize for something they said one minute earlier and they deny saying it at all. In other cases, they completely make up stories. When presented with evidence against it, they’ll usually lying or make you question the credible information. This becomes confusing and can make it feel like you’re going *literally* crazy.

When trying to figure out whether someone is gaslighting you, what becomes even more confusing is their intentions. You may know that the person is otherwise “good” and doesn’t mean to make you feel this way.

But here’s something to consider: Some people are inherently manipulative. Maybe that’s their personality or the way they’ve learned to survive in the world. None of that discounts the effects of their behavior.

The term gaslighting traditionally applies to abusive situations where a person is intentionally making a person question their reality. Even if a person unintentionally gaslights you though, the effects of manipulation still translate.

#3 They Feel Like Coming Home

…and not always in a good way.

Toxic relationships can feel like you’ve regained a part of your childhood. You feel comfortable with your partner and they feel like home. That might be because they are like home—in the bad ways too.

Often we unconsciously go for partners that reflect our childhood or parents. If our parents tended to yell and punch holes in wall, we’re more likely to find a partner who does the same.

It’s no secret either—research shows that our early childhood experiences influences our relationships later in life. Ask yourself if your relationship is repeating any patterns you witnessed as a child? If so, you might have some healing to do yourself. If the situation doesn’t improve or is extreme, you might consider doing what you couldn’t do as a child: Protecting yourself and leaving.

#4 There’s Explosions

It’s hard to miss an explosion. If arguments or disagreements turn into explosive moments, that’s a sure-fire toxic relationship sign.

One moment they’re calm and the next their anger is at or close to 100.

Explosive moments could include your partner yelling or swearing when they get angry. They may blow up the situation, take things out of context or say things that are uncalled for. Instead of controlling their fit of rage, they steamroll through it.

Sometimes, we’re the explosive ones. When we’re the perpetrators, we may not realize it because we’re too caught up in our moments of anger. If we feel justified, it may feel good to get it out. It’s important to realize this inflames the situation, damages the relationship and is toxic.

Healthy relationships won’t always feel smooth, but you’ll have ways of dealing with it outside of acting hurtful.

#5 They Use Personal Things Against You

When you’re in a close relationship with someone, things are going to get personal. You might reveal some things you wouldn’t tell just anyone and that’s because you trust them.

You feel that trust ripped from under you sometimes though. Some personal conversations later turn into strikes against you.

Let’s say you told your partner about a one-night stand and now they call you slutty and believe you’ll cheat on them. That’s not okay.

Or let’s say you call out their bad behavior and they call out an embarrassing moment to shut you up. That’s also not okay.

Moments of trust don’t make up for hurtful gaslighting of secrets.

#6 Name-Calling

Nobody likes being name-called but a lot of us do it in relationships.

Despite it being a common way to get out your anger, it’s not okay.

Telling your partner, “you’re being such an asshole/bitch,” is not healthy. The same goes for dehumanizing someone by calling them a “pig” when they’re messy or “trash” when you’re upset.

If you’re doing this to your partner, ask yourself why? Realize it’s disrespectful and they don’t deserve that, even when you disagree with them. See the tiny holes it’s tearing in your relationship.

Sometimes, despite your best efforts, you might get upset and have a slipup. Your partner is hurt and you can’t take it back. At this point, we need to own up to our mistake. Genuinely apologizing is the most appropriate thing to do. Then, we try to slow our anger next time.

When we’re on the receiving end of name-calling, it’s hurtful, but may be easy to justify. Everyone gets angry sometimes, we tell ourselves. We’d like our partners to be nicer, but we can’t control everything they say. And, it doesn’t take away the other good things about them.

Still, we need to call out name-calling. It can slowly eat away at our trust. It lowers the standards of what a normal relationship looks like for us. This is one of the toxic relationship signs that’s often looked after but shouldn’t be.

#7 Abuse

Abuse is the most extreme of the toxic relationship signs. It’s also the #1 sign your relationship needs to end.

When it’s physical, abuse might be more obvious. Consider the other forms of abuse though, like emotional or sexual abuse.

Emotional abuse can include a lot more than threats, like:

Put downs
Negative comments/pressuring you about your appearance
Belittling you
Hitting your “sore spots”
Making cruel “jokes”
Controlling finances
Telling you what to do
Pitting others against you
Jealousy
Blaming you
Denying the abuse

Similarly, sexual abuse is more than forcing sex on someone. It can include pressuring you and coercing you when you don’t “give into” sex or sexual acts. For example, if there’s something sexual you’re not comfortable doing and your partner is angry you won’t try it, that’s not only toxic, it’s abuse.

If you’re going through an abusive relationship, know that resources are available. For more information, call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1–800–799–7233.

#9 Poor Communication

Poor communication is one of the most annoying yet common toxic relationship signs.

Communication problems happen in literally every relationship and doesn’t mean it’s toxic. However, when poor communication becomes a pattern that overtakes the relationship, you can be sure that’s not healthy. Whether our lack of skills or our partners, communication problems can lead to misunderstandings and arguments. Sometimes, you may agree to “forget” the issue because you can’t talk about it without arguing. In time, like other toxic relationship signs, this grows into resentment.

When considering if your communication is toxic, ask yourself if you and your partner are making efforts to communicate better? Is it working? If there’s evidence the partner is trying and it’s working, the relationship could work out if you work on the issue. If not, how long are you waiting to stick around before calling it?

#10 Avoiding Accountability + Hard Conversations

Another common among toxic relationship signs is avoiding accountability.

Many people who gaslight don’t want to talk about their behavior. They seemingly can’t. They’ll ignore it, avoid it, change the subject, close down, leave, fire up their jet pack — literally anything to avoid being held accountable.

At first, though, this can seem like poor communication. You think you just need to communicate the problem better. You think it’s your fault that communicating the issue makes them angry. Here are some other common thoughts:

I just need to teach him to communicate better
He will communicate more calmy over time
I need to communicate this differently so he will act calmer and address it
If I approach this more calmly, he will have this conversation instead of leaving
I always seem to bring this up at a bad time, I’ll try better next time (ask “when would be a good time to talk about this?” and they might say “never)

If you’re not sure whether your partner has poor communication or is gaslighting you, ask yourself how far you get into difficult conversations. Are they willing to have them? Do they try? After they leave for a break, do they come back ready to resolve the issue?

Those are all marks of someone who is trying to improve their skills and have hard conversations. If they don’t improve, it’s likely they’re trying to eliminate your communication skills. If you don’t talk about problems, it’s easy for them to avoid.

#11 Negative Changes

Negative changes can be easy to see — at least for your friends and family.

You’re you one day and the next, you’re in a relationship with a completely different personality.

If someone has pointed this out to you, take note.

We can also look inside ourselves to think about ways we may have changed:

Personality— If our personality has changed in negative ways, it could be a sign of a toxic relationship. Maybe you’ve become meaner to people or more careless as your partner rubs off on you.
Mental health— It’s not a relationship’s responsibility to make you happy. If it contributes to unhappiness frequently though, that’s a bad sign. Have you been more depressed or sad lately? If no factor in your life has changed but the relationship, that might be something to look at.
Beliefs— If your beliefs about yourself, the world, or others have shifted in the wrong direction, that’s a good sign you’re being manipulated. Maybe your self-confidence has taken a hit. Perhaps the word seems a lot more gloomy. You could have adopted some cult-like beliefs about society. Or maybe you suddenly believe all your friends and family hate you. One of the overlooked among toxic relationship signs is changing your values or beliefs overtime.

#12 They Go Missing

If your partner makes you consider filing a missing person’s report, that’s an obvious sign they’re toxic.

While people need to take space sometimes, there’s healthy ways to go about it. Your partner should tell you how long they’ll be gone and when they’ll be coming back. If they don’t, or it takes an unreasonable amount of time, that’s toxic.

You might experience or do this to your partner after an argument. After leaving in a rage of rage, you give them the silent treatment. You might even see it as a form of punishment for their behavior. This is one of the toxic relationship signs that causes a partner to be in a constant state of anxiety.

#13 Bringing Up Your faults to Excuse Their Own

Have you ever been having a discussion or arguing with someone about something hurtful they did and they keep bringing up the past?

Sometimes this is relevant. But many times, they’ve overplaying your wrongs to downplay their own. Let’s be clear: The fact you screwed up doesn’t make their actions okay either. While both should be held accountable, gaslighters tend to blow up small situations in comparison to their own.

In a relationship, your partner might bring up the time you forgot their birthday whenever you want to discuss why they’re always putting you down and making rude remarks. One of the toxic relationship signs is never moving forward because you keep getting stuck in the same problems, even if they have nothing to do with the present.

#14 Blaming Your Lack of Forgiveness On You

Forgiveness can take time and if it’s rushed, it’s ingenuine. Most relationships will require some form of forgiveness, even if it’s for things like slacking on chores or forgetting your anniversary one year.

Sometimes, you may be in a situation so heavy and deep that recovery takes time. Let’s say your partner cheated on you and you decide to stay and slowly try to build back the trust. While forgiveness is the ultimate goal, your partner shouldn’t expect you to reach it right away.

If whenever your partner does something hurtful, they expect you to “snap out of it,” that’s a form of gaslighting.

Does your partner say hurtful things, feel sad, say sorry and then suddenly get mad when you don’t accept it? When the apology isn’t the magic wand they expected it to be, they get upset again and turn back into the bad guy. Or they’re still sorry, but not that sorry because you’re overblowing it.

They might flip the table and suddenly make you into the manipulative person.

You’re allowed to take time to forgive someone, if at all. People shouldn’t bully you into otherwise.

Also read:

Summary: Toxic Relationship Signs

If you’re curious about the toxic relationship meaning, the first thing to know is that “toxic” looks different in every relationship. Since unhealthy relationships can take many forms, it can range from some unresolved conflict to abuse. To help evaluate whether your relationship is crossing boundaries, use the toxic relationship signs above. Remember that not all the toxic relationship signs are listed. A therapist can look at your relationship from an unbiased perspective to help you understand if it’s normal.

DIY: So Easy Crystal Paperclip Bookmark: Gemstone Craft

By

YoHumanz

This gemstone craft is so ridiculously easy to make!

It only requires your favorite crystal, a paperclip bookmark and some hot glue! If you already have a crystal, all of the other tools can be found at the Dollar Tree, making this an easy dollar store craft!

Once you’ve gathered your supplies, you simply attach the crystal and large paperclip using hot glue. Make sure you have a few crystals ready—these are so quick to make that you’ll want to craft a collection!

DIY crystal bookmarks look magical in your bookshelf and can bring spirituality to any corner. They’re great to use as highlights too; try using multiple to mark your favorite pages in a book. This gemstone craft also makes a great gift for the book lover or spiritual person in your life.

Keep scrolling to learn how to make easy crystal paperclip bookmarks.

Table of Contents

Crystal Paperclip Bookmark: Gemstone Craft

This gemstone craft is so easy to make. It only requires a few tools and will make every book feel a little more magical!

If you want to make this gemstone craft your own, experiment with different styles. Match varying paperclip colors to different crystals.

Step One: Gather Supplies

For this easy gemstone craft, you’ll only need a few supplies:

Large paperclips or craft bookmark paperclips
Crystals
Hot glue gun

I found my large paperclips at Dollar Tree. You can buy ones with designs already on them and just pop them off. Just make sure the paperclip is strudy enough to hold the crystal you plan to use.

Step Two: Attach Crystal

Using a hot glue gun, apply glue to the back of your crystal. Lay the paperclip in the hot glue and apply more glue to fully secure the two parts.

Step Three: Show Off

That’s it! Aren’t these “gems” so quick to make? Since they’re so easy, you can use them in all your books or give as gifts to friends.

Print Recipe

DIY Crystal Paperclip Bookmark: Gemstone Craft

This gemstone craft bookmark is made using large bookmark paperclips and hot glue. It’s so easy that you’ll want to make more!

Keyword: bookmarks crafts, crystal crafts, diy bookmarks, gemstone bookmarks, GEMSTONE CRAFTS

Equipment

Large paperclips or craft bookmark paperclips
Crystals
Hot glue gun

Instructions

Choose a paperclip that’s large and sturdy enough to handle the crystal you plan on using. (I found large paperclips bookmarks at the dollar tree)
Apply hot glue to the back of your crystal
Lay the top of the paperclip into the hot glue. If needed, add more hot glue to secure the crystal to the paperclip.

Summary: Crystal Paperclip Bookmark: Gemstone Craft

This gemstone craft crystal paperclip bookmark only requires a few tools. Using your favorite crystal, a large paperclip bookmark and hot glue, you can create a magical craft. These are sure to make any reading experience a little more enlightening.

6 Questions for Couples with Relationship Communication Problem

By

YoHumanz

Questions for Couples with Relationship Communication Problem

As humans, we’re programmed to fill the gaps.

If we don’t have the information, we tend to make it up.

Unfortunately, this can mean missed opportunities in relationships. Instead of digging deeper to find out what somebody needs, we assume.

By asking questions for couples, we can unlock the hidden thoughts or feelings. In doing this, we’re able to act and speak in ways that strengthen, instead of harm, our relationships.

Read on to learn 6 questions for couples with a relationship communication problem to transform your relationship.

Table of Contents

6 Questions for Couples with Relationship Communication Problem

These questions for couples with a relationship communication problem should be interspersed into your day-to-day routine as appropriate. Used frequently, they can help transform your communication.

#1 Are We Fixing or Listening?

You can probably relate to being misunderstood or misunderstanding someone when they’re in crisis mode.

The stereotype is that men are “fixers” whose first impulse is to patch up a problem. Sometimes, though, people just want someone to listen. They don’t need your advice or step-by-step action plan. They just need a shoulder to cry on. You don’t need to fix everything.

Researcher Brené Brown noticed this problem in her marriage. When one was ranting, the other would pop in with some unsolicited advice. Or, when someone is really asking for guidance, you might just listen instead of providing help.

To understand what the person truly needs, Brown shared on her podcast one important question they ask each other: “Are we fixing or listening right now?”

“You know, and so, I’ve come to this belief that, if you show me a woman who can sit with a man in real vulnerability, in deep fear, and be with him in it, I will show you a woman who, A, has done her work and, B, does not derive her power from that man.”

And if you show me a man who can sit with a woman in deep struggle and vulnerability and not try to fix it, but just hear her and be with her and hold space for it, I’ll show you a guy who’s done his work and a man who doesn’t derive his power from controlling and fixing everything.” -Brené Brown

#2 How Does That Feel?

Like other questions for couples, this can be helpful in a few contexts.

In the bedroom, we might assume that a partner likes something when they really don’t. Even if we’re used to a sexual act, everyone has different specific preferences. Something your ex loved might be hated by your new partner. The only way to know is to ask, “how does that feel?”

Even if we know it’s helpful, it can be awkward to say. Asking where we’re falling short can feel (and be) vulnerable. Still, it will elevate how you physically feel with a partner.

“How does that feel?” is also a good question to ask when you’re making plans or decisions. Let’s say you had to cancel a date you rescheduled. Is your partner okay with it? Do they hold any resentment? By asking, “Is that okay? How does this feel?” It gives a chance for them to say, “Well, I’m not sure” or “Okay but I feel like you’ve been cancelling a lot lately.” This can help you uncover potential problems before they grow and become a relationship communication problem.

#3 How Can I Help You?

If someone is struggling with something, don’t just stand by and watch. See if there’s a way you can support them. Sometimes, it’s obvious. But other times, it’s not.

Let’s say the person is stressed about a big work project. Since you know nothing about their line of work, you aren’t sure how you can help. Asking this simple question can reveal options you never thought about. For example, maybe you can help by making dinner, so they have more time to catch up on work.

A relationship communication problem can arise when we assume how someone wants help. Although we think we’re helping, we might be getting in their way or acting condescending. In other cases, co-dependency makes us rush to help, even without our partner wanting it.

#4 How Can I Support You?

Other times, people’s problems are more emotion-based. In these cases, help will probably be less tangible. If you know someone is going through a difficult time, like a period of depression, this is a good question to assess their needs.

Pick the right time to ask this one, though. And don’t ask it when the answer is obvious. If someone is spilling their heart out to you, they need someone to listen. If someone is down on themselves, they usually need affirmation before you ask what other support they need. After you’ve applied emotional first-aid follow-up with asking how you can support them. And if someone doesn’t know, that’s okay too.

The key here for a couple with a relationship communication problem is to know that people like to receive support in different ways. For example, you might like a “tough love” type of support, but that doesn’t mean your partner does. In fact, it can cause a relationship communication problem and make them feel worse.

#5 How Can I Make This Better? Questions for Couples

It’s such a simple question, but it can go a long way. When someone is mad at us, sometimes we get angry too. If we’re arguing, we can get lost in the battle. When there’s a relationship communication problem, we further exacerbate it by getting lot in the haze.

Instead of looking for a way out, we contribute to the steamrolling — which escalates the situation. Instead of seeing ourselves as a partnership against the problem, we feel like we’re against our partner. We become concerned with winning the argument, worsening the relationship communication problem.

Remember that in these moments, you have a choice. If someone is upset about something you said or did, look for a way to make it better. Ask, “How can I make this better?”

If the person also wants to deescalate the situation, they should respond with what they’re looking for. That could be changed behavior, an apology, an action, etc. If the person can’t articulate what could make the situation better, consider taking a break. If you’re just going to go back and forth without a resolution, it could damage the relationship. Instead, take a time out and brainstorm how to make the situation better when you regroup.

#6 What’s On Your Heart?

We artificially ask people how they are. Or what their day was like. But what’s taking space in their heart?

Not their mind but their heart.

Asking someone this question can reveal the things they’re worried about most. What are they caring about? How are they feeling about life?

When someone is acting off or you haven’t checked in lately, it’s a great icebreaker. Pay attention to the answer.

Understanding what’s on their heart can help prevent a relationship communication problem. We might not understand why somebody seems different and assume they’re upset with us. For example, if your partner is worried about the health of their mother, they may act more snappy. You might assume they’re angry with you when in reality they’re stressed. Knowing the inner-workings can help you tackle them with your partner. You can nip the relationship communication problem in the bud by asking them about the stress trigger instead of dancing around it.

Summary: Questions for Couples with Relationship Communication Problem

Not these questions for couples with a relationship problem will be appropriate all the time. Rather, keep these phrases in your back pocket for when they might be helpful. In situations where you might assume something, get curious. In situations where there’s ambiguity, fill in the gaps by asking. Use the questions for couples with a relationship problem to better assess the needs of a relationship.

10 Best Crystals for New Beginnings and Easy Change

By

YoHumanz

crystals for new beginnings, crystals for change

When you’re going through change, you might experience a variety of emotions.

While transformation is necessary, it can be difficult. We also might struggle with which decisions to make as we embark on a new journey.

Crystals for new beginnings can help inspire you during your transition. Whether it’s a new job, relationship, a big move or spiritual advancement, these stones can help guide your journey.

In this article, you’ll learn about the best 9 crystals for new beginnings and change.

An Important Note About Crystals For New Beginnings

Crystals are a spiritual tool however, they do not replace professional advice or science-backed treatments.

If you need advice on a new beginning, please talk to the appropriate people to guide your decision-making. If your mental health is struggling, please talk to your doctor or a therapist. Seek out science-baked coping mechanisms to use before or alongside using crystals. You don’t have to go through new beginnings or change alone, so please seek out the appropriate help.

How to Use Crystals for New Beginnings

There’s a variety of ways you can use your favorite crystals for new beginnings.

Carry Them In Your Purse or Pocket

Carrying crystals for new beginnings on you can help calm you during hard periods. Through change, you may experience a range of emotions. To help soothe the difficult ones, try keeping a crystal in your purse or pocket.

Display In Your Home

If you’re going through a personal change, display a few crystals for change around your home. This can serve as a reminder of your goal or may act as a compassionate friend when you’re feeling down.

Make a Crystal Grid

Try making a crystal grid for change using crystals for new beginnings. Dedicate this area to your transformation. This can help guide your journey. If you want, every time you pass this space, say an affirmation or prayer.

Read:

Make an Altar

Make an altar dedicated to your new beginning using your favorite items. Arrange a combination of candles, small statues or tokens, incense and your favorite crystals for new beginnings. You can use this space for any spiritual ritual, such as affirmations, prayer or meditation.

Meditate with Crystals for New Beginnings

Although crystals are a spiritual tool, it’s best to use science-backed advice if you’re struggling with mental health through your period of change. Meditation has been shown to ease stress anxiety disorder. Try a guided meditation of your choice. To heighten your experience, hold onto your crystal while you meditate.

Journal with Crystals for New Beginnings

Journaling is another activity that has been shown to ease mental distress. As you embark on your new beginning, vent about the downsides and bask in the upsides by keeping a journal. Simply write how you’re feeling that day. While journaling, keep your favorite crystals for new beginnings by your side. These will help remind you of the bigger picture of positive change.

Put Under Your Pillow

If you need help calming your mind of all the changes you’re going through, try sticking a calming crystal under your pillow. It can also help inspire wisdom during your sleep if you’re contemplating the best decision to make for a new journey.

Place Crystals for New Home Around House or Apartment

If you’re using a crystal for a new home, grid your house or apartment. Learn how in the video below.

10 Crystals for New Beginnings and Change

Whether it’s a big move, new job, new relationship or spiritual transformation—change can be difficult. These crystals for new beginnings can help smoothen the transition.

Moonstone

According to the Crystal Bible by Judy Hall, moonstone is known as the “stone of new beginnings.”

With a motherly energy, it can help calm you down when the transitions of change seem rough. During this possibly turbulent time, it promotes emotional stability. According to the Crystal Bible, it soothes emotional overreactions and can help dampen triggers.

It can also help you trust your intuition, affirming that you’re on the right path and headed in the best direction. If you’re lacking intuition and not sure which decision to make, moonstone can also help you develop your skills. As a feminine stone, it can help make you more receptive to positive changes.

Rose Quartz

Rose quartz is known as the crystal of love. But it’s also one of the best crystal for new beginnings. That’s because it can help you gently transition. Change is often daunting and scary. Rose quartz adds comforting love into the mix. It understands that transition can be difficult and allows for self-compassion: It’s okay and normal to feel this way. When you feel supported and safe, change becomes easier.

As the stone of love, it can also help us harness the self-love we need during change. When our outside circumstances change, we change internally. And vice versa. As we discover new versions of ourselves and shed the old ones, rose quartz helps us love and respect ourselves.

Rose quartz can also be used if you’re looking for crystals for a new home. It can help infuse your home with love, promoting a loving living space, family, company, etc.

Blue Kyanite

Blue kyanite is a stone that doesn’t need cleansing. Amazingly, it cleans itself and will not hold onto negative energy. We can extend this metaphor into our new life transition. When we walk into a new future, we shed the past.

Blue kyanite is a great stone for new beginnings because it can help us let go of the past negativity and move forward into a positive future. If a change is difficult, this stone can help constantly cleanse you of worrying thoughts. For that reason, it’s one of the top crystals for new beginnings to wear as jewelry or keep on you.

According to the Crystal Bible, blue kyanite can also help you hone your intuition. This can be useful for difficult decision-making. For example, if you’re looking for crystals for a new home, blue kyanite can help you trust your intuition on which house or apartment is best.

Labradorite

Judy Hall calls Labradorite a highly mystical stone. It helps you connect with universal energies. In that, it can help give you the wisdom you need during your life change. That may include guiding you to trust your intuition with a big decision. Or it may be comforting wisdom that affirms everything will work out.

In the Crystal Bible, Judy Hall writes that Labradorite “forms a barrier to negative energies shed during therapy.” Many new beginnings are brought on by therapy or psychological realizations. This crystal can help you let go of the darker energies so your new beginning feels light again. This is one of the best crystals for new beginnings if you need protection against outside energies too.

Malachite

Interestingly, some say “if you’re drawn to malachite, it may be time for a major change in your life.” As a stone of transformation, malachite is a great companion along any journey of change.

Since it’s a green stone, it connects to the heart chakra and offers healing. Before we fully close a chapter, healing is often necessary.

The rich green color also represents abundance and financial wealth. This makes malachite a great option if you’re hoping your new beginning brings financial luck.

Chrysolite (AKA Peridot)

Chrysolite, AKA Peridot, is another green crystal that can help with change and new beginnings.

It can help you discern the right choice when you’re starting on a new path. For this reason, it’s a great choice among crystals for new beginnings or crystals for a new home. When you have several doors in front of you, turn to chrysolite for guidance on which to walk through.

Judy Hall writes, that the stone “shows you how to detach yourself from outside influences and to look to your own higher energies for guidance.

Peridot is also a heart chakra stone. With that, it helps our heart open to new possibilities, situations or relationships.

Citrine

Citrine is a wonderful stone to use if you’re looking for crystals for new beginnings. The orange stone is known to represent joy, which many hope to gain on their new journey. It can help bring happiness by encouraging you to notice the small wins that lead to big transformation.

Citrine can also promote prosperity, making it a great choice if your new road includes a new job or business venture. As a general abundance stone, it can help you achieve richness in any area of life.

Along with being a great crystal for change and new beginnings, it can also help with self-esteem. When our life changes, we’ll need to take hold of our confidence in order to try new things. Citrine helps us gain the confidence we need to move forward.

Lepidolite

Lepidolite is an excellent stone to use to for emotional balance. It can help calm intense feelings with a gentle, compassionate energy. New starts can bring on a roller coaster of emotions and this stone can help stabilize the negative ones. Whether you’re starting a new relationship, job, moving or getting a new home—change can be bittersweet. Lepidolite walks along that journey with you, letting you know it will be okay.

As a purple stone, it relates to the third eye and crown chakras. In that, it can help you connect to your inner wisdom, helping you make decisions or find your passion. If your new journey involves spiritual growth, Lepidolite may be the best crystal for new beginnings to choose.

Obsidian

Obsidian is a great crystal for a new home. If you’re gridding your new house or apartment to keep away negative energy, this black stone is a great choice.

As one of the best protectors and crystals for new beginnings, it can help ward off negative emotions. Although it’s natural to have grief over the loss of a former self or situation, obsidian can help soothe those difficult feelings.

It’s also known as a stone of strength and inner power. These are traits you may need as you brave new beginnings and experiences.

According to Judy Hall, obsidian “impels us to grow and lends solid support while we do so.” The stone can as the stable ground beneath you as you chart new lands.

Amethyst

Amethyst is one of the most readily available crystals for new beginnings. As a purple stone, it connects to the higher chakras, promoting guidance from higher realms. Whether you receive wisdom from God, The Universe, your spirit guides or angels, Amethyst can help you connect with that knowledge. Use this stone if you need help making decisions or tuning into what’s truly best for you.

Change can bring about periods of anxiety and amethyst can help soothe those common emotions. It’s a great crystal to wear or keep in your pocket as a “calming” token.

Summary: Crystals for New Beginnings

New beginnings can be stressful and difficult, yet exciting and necessary. Crystals for new beginnings may guide you through your journey. Whether to bring comfort to help decision making, try a few stones to see if thy enhance your transformation.

The Narcissist vs. Empath: A Relatable Guide for Empath and Relationships

By

YoHumanz

Relationships are hard. Even harder when you feel everything to an extreme.

Empaths can have a difficult time in close relationships and may fall into the pitfall of the narcissist. These types of people may drain your empathy and energy. But it’s important to take your power back.

In this article, you’ll learn about the empath and relationships—and a common pattern many can relate to.

What is an empath person? What’s a narcissist? And how does the narcissistic vs empath dynamic playout? We’ll discuss all that and more.

Table of Contents

What is an Empath Person?

You might be wondering “what is an empath person?”

The term “empath” and “empathy” has risen in popularity over the past years. But what does each really mean?

The term “empathy” means to understand another’s feelings or to share the same feelings. For example, when a friend is upset about a job loss, a person with empathy will understand their feelings of sadness or anger. They might even feel sad or angry along with their friend.

Empathy is a trait most people have. Like most things in life, empathy is a spectrum. Some people have a little empathy. Some people have a lot.

People who have a lot of empathy are often called “empaths.” Author Dr. Judith Orloff describes empaths as highly sensitive people who feel everything, sometimes to an extreme. They are naturally good listeners, giving and the world’s best nurturers.

The term “empath” can be used to describe someone’s temperament. It’s also used as a spiritual term (ex. “intuitive empath”). However, “empath” is not a phycological term, diagnosis, or disorder. Keep in mind though that empaths are more prone to some phycological concerns. For example, co-dependency, anxiety and numbing behaviors are common.

What is a Narcissist?

With all this talk about narcissism, what is a narcissist, actually?

To put it simply, a narcissist is the opposite of an empath. While empaths “feel everything” and are concerned with the feelings of others, narcissists don’t notice or care. They are focused on themselves and their own motivations only. Here’s some other examples:

Disregard of others/lacking empathy
Blaming
Refusing to take accountability and/or gaslighting
Feels or acts superior to others
Crosses boundaries repeatedly

While this quick checklist can help you understand the term, it’s only half the picture. Like empathy, narcissism is a spectrum. Some of us rarely have narcissistic behaviors, while others seemingly bathe in it each morning. Unlike the term “empath,” “narcissist” is a real psychological term. Someone who scores high on the narcissist spectrum may be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.

This is an important differentiation. These days, many of us call anyone we don’t like a “narcissist.” While that person may have narcissistic behavior, they aren’t necessarily a diagnosable narcissist. Only a trained psychologist can diagnose the person.

The Narcissist vs. Empath Dynamic

We’ve covered “what is an empath person” and “what is a narcissist.”

Now we can discuss the Narcissist vs. Empath Dynamic.

As you know, empaths and narcissists can be polar opposites. While one over-cares, the other under-cares. Given that they’re at odds, how do empaths and narcissists often end up together? Shouldn’t they repel one another?

As the old saying goes “opposites attract.” But it’s more than that for the empath and narcissist. It usually means a toxic dynamic and one that’s hard to break. Although they’re vastly different, they can have a weirdly magnetic pull toward one another. That’s because—even unknowingly—the empath and narcissist feed into each other. Here’s how each feed into each other.

What the EMPATH Experiences: Narcissist vs. Empath

Empaths love giving love and attention, narcissists love receiving it
Feels seen and heard by the narcissist at first, who puts on a façade of charm
In first stages, receives affection from the love-bombing narcissist
Empaths like being emotionally close and narcissists tend to get close quickly, even though it’s fake
Empaths love hearing people’s stories and narcissists are never short on “poor me” tales
Enjoys being there for the narcissist and listening to their many problems
Feels like they’re helping the troubled narcissist
Narcissists seem intelligent at first and empaths love a deep conversation
When the narcissist’s fake charm begins to wear off, empaths have empathy for their “break in character” rather than calling it like it is
Empaths have a hard time understanding how others can’t have empathy, so accepting blame seems more logical
In the later stages, empaths thrive on the tiny morsels given by the narcissist. Even small acts mean a lot to the love-deprived empath.
Empaths have empathy for narcissist’s crappy personality. They believe it when a narcissist says they’re trying to change, even when there’s no evidence.

What the NARCISSIST Experiences: Narcissist vs. Empath

Constant affirmation about how great they are from loving empath
Showered with love
Empath listens and believes all their complaints, stories and pity parties
Able to push boundaries if empath is a “pushover”
Able to avoid accountability
Can use empath as a doormat for their blame
When they get more power or control, it’s easier to guilt trip and manipulate an empath
They get to put no effort into the relationship because the empath believes their excuses (or makes excuses for them)
When they fake attempts to change, the empath has empathy for their slow/no progress.

When the empath realizes the person is a narcissist, it doesn’t mean they’ll immediately leave. They may be guilted back into staying. Sometimes, they need no convincing at all. Empaths can convince themselves to stay with a narcissist because the narcissist needs them or that it’s the “kind” thing to do. Even if the empath knows leaving is the “right” thing, they might be conflicted by how wrong it feels in the moment.

This Narcissist vs. empath cycle can create what’s known as a trauma bond. Although a trauma bond is traditionally between a person and their abuser, a similar dynamic can be created without abuse. For more information, read 9 Trauma Bonding Signs To Scan Your Relationship For

When you realize you’re in a narcissist vs. empath dynamic, stop waiting. Take your power back.

It’s important to hold the narcissist accountable for their actions. However, we must also hold ourselves accountable to ourselves. We can get angry at the narcissist. We can make excuses to stay or buy into their guilt trips. But ultimately, it is up to us to realize—and break—the co-dependent bond.

As empaths, we cannot count on the narcissist to break the bond for us. They won’t. They will keep chewing at the thread until it disintegrates from underneath you. It’s far healthier to cut the thread yourself for a clean break.

Empath and Relationships: Romantically

With an empath and relationships that become romantic, the bond can be even more toxic. That’s because, unlike other relationship types, the feeling of being in love can taint the truth even more.

Instead of seeing the narcissist vs. empath dynamic for what it truly is, we believe the rose-colored version. At first, the charming narcissist seems perfect. We might even think they’re an empath! Maybe even psychic! They have an uncanny way of knowing what we want and need to hear.

When their façade fades and we begin to see who they truly are, we may ignore it in favor of the idealized version of them. In this stage of the narcissist vs. empath dynamic, the narcissist might not even need to do anything. The empath is convincing themselves. Every time the narcissist slips, the empath counts all their good traits. Even if they have a sinking feeling in their stomach.

There comes a time with the empath and relationships when enough is enough. The empath finally calls out the narcissist. The narcissist may blame or outright deny accountability.

Eventually, the narcissist will concoct a confusing blend of accountability and blame. In order to keep you, they may take minimal accountability when absolutely necessary. However, this won’t be in the form of any tangible change.

Still, as empaths, we believe the narcissist when they say they’ll change. We have empathy because changing is hard. And maybe it’s even harder given their difficult childhood. After all, we understand narcissism is a real mental health disorder. And we correctly know that the disorder is often caused by childhood trauma. We ask ourselves, doesn’t the narcissist deserve love too? Aren’t we all just wounded children?

We are correct to understand that everyone has a different set of problems. And we are correct to have empathy for them. We are incorrect to use that as an excuse for bad behavior. We cannot allow ourselves to justify bad behavior, no matter the reason.

As empaths, we need to give others the freedom to work on their own problems. When we stay with a person who is hurting us, we may think we are helping them. But really, it is hurting them too. The bad behaviors are being further ingrained in them. It instills that some people will take their treatment. When we say “enough,” we send the signal that it’s not okay to treat others this way.

Yes, when you draw boundaries, the narcissist will likely go find another to walk over. But it’s not our job to fix them. It’s our job to present them with the choice to heal themselves. In letting go, we’ve already done our job. We’ve given them the freedom to make the choice to heal—whether they take it or not.

Empath and Relationships: Non-Romantic

The narcissist vs. empath dynamic is unfortunately common among the two groups. If you’re an empath, you’ve probably experienced and can relate to much of the information here.

When most people think of an empath and relationships, they think about romantic connections. It’s true that the narcissist vs. empath dynamic can be toxic and strong among lovers. However, we also need to look for the dynamic within our other relationships.

The narcissist vs. empath can be present in:

Parent-child
Grandparent-grandchild
Boss-co-worker
Co-worker-co-worker
Friends
Siblings
Ex-partners
Acquaintances (ex. the mom in your PTO group who always manipulates you into doing the work)
Empath and relationships of any other type

When it comes to an empath and relationships, since the bond can be hard to break, it’s best to avoid getting close with narcissists altogether. Unfortunately, that’s not always possible. For example, if you’ve grown up with a narcissist father, you can’t take back the past, but you can avoid getting closer in the future using boundaries.

In cases where we must have contact with a narcissist (ex. co-parenting), it’s critical to make your boundaries known and to hold the person accountable when they inevitably break them.

Unfortunately, empaths are good are drawing boundaries inside their head. But when it comes to holding them, empaths tend to drop the ball. Remember that boundaries are useless if they live inside your head and not in practice.

Summary: Narcissist vs. Empath | The Empath and Relationships

We’ve started by discussing “what is an empath person.” If you can relate, it’s helpful to know about the common patterns with the empath and relationships.

The narcissist vs empath dynamic is an unfortunate and common one. The empath gives the narcissist exactly what they want: love, praise and lack of boundaries. In return, the narcissist slowly lowers their charming façade to show their careless interior. When confronted with the truth, it can be hard for the empath to see and believe. Even when the empath sees the narcissist for what they are, it can be extremely difficult to leave.

Although the narcissist vs empath dynamic is common in romantic relationships, it can happen in all types of connections, like parents, coworkers and friend relationships.