You’re here because he ignored your text, aren’t you?
Whether you’ve been left on read or it seems like the person has fallen on earth, it can be hard to wait for a response. After a while, you may not think a reply is ever coming. Are they ignoring you forever?
In these situations, it may be appropriate to try to get a text back, even if it’s to clarify the silence.
In this guide, we’ll go over the possible reasons why he doesn’t text back. Understanding this will allow you to know how to elicit a response, which we’ll cover in the second half of this article.
Why He Doesn’t Text Back
Often, when someone doesn’t text us back, we assume the worst. It’s not always the worst though. People have legitimate reasons for not responding. Other times, it really is the worst and the person is pulling away or you’re getting ghosted. Here’s the possibilities:
- They’re Busy. The most common reason he doesn’t text back is that he’s busy. You might be used to instant texters, but not everyone likes to be on their phone. He might be busy with school or have a job that doesn’t allow him to text. He could be driving or perhaps it’s a particularly busy day for him. The options for how someone can be busy are endless. And since our to-do list creeps up on us, it’s not always predictable—reading to randomly “ignored” texts.
- They’re Speechless. Being speechless can be a good or bad thing. The person you’re texting might not be sure what to say. Maybe there’s nothing to add and they have nothing to text back. Or, they could be speechless because you said something wrong or hurtful.
- They’re Bored. Sometimes the conversation isn’t really saying anything. It’s not going anywhere and it’s not interesting. At this point, people stop replying. Read through your messages. If it seems like a dead-end, consider how you can reinvigorate the connection with interesting conversation or questions.
- Everything is On Their Schedule. Some people only want others on their schedule. They don’t care to text you back if they don’t want to. And they don’t really care how you’re affected by it. But when their mood changes and they want you, you’ll receive a reply.
- Power Play. By making you question whether the relationship is on, a narcissist can gain control over the dynamics.
- They Don’t Want to Talk. Unfortunately, people aren’t always into much as we’re into them. Even Britney Spears gets turned down. Sometimes, a no-reply is a reply: They want to fully cut contact.
For a full list of possibilities and to narrow down the cause, read 13 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Text Back.
8 Tricks to Get a Text Back: He Ignored My Text
Before trying to get someone to text back, first ask yourself if you even should. In some situations, it may be appropriate. In others, the person may be obviously ignoring you. If you’re not being treated well, find someone else to text—you don’t need them.
To get a text back, first read the possible causes of an ignored text above. Do you suspect a reason? Let the cause inform the trick you choose to entice a response.
#1 Ask Them a Question
If you think someone is ignoring your text because the conversation is boring, spice it up. Oftentimes, we forget that we need to put effort into our words. We blame a lack on the conversation on the other person. Small talk is always someone else’s fault.
If the last text you sent was “good” in response to “how are you,” they might not be ignoring you. They might genuinely have nothing to say. To give them something to respond to, ask a question. Unlike comments, they’re easier to reply to because a person knows exactly what response is expected. There’s also more incentive to reply to questions: It’s interesting to share and listen.
Ask them a random question, but make it interesting or deep. Like, “I remember you mentioned you’re mother died when you were young. How was it growing up in a one-parent house?”
Another option is to suggest a game of 20 questions. You can take turns asking each other questions from a list or from your head.
Need ideas? Read: 160 Questions For Couples: New + Longterm (Very Telling)
#2 Send a Picture
Sometimes, you don’t need more words to break the ice, you just need a carefully selected picture. The keyword here is carefully selected.
If you’re can’t stop thinking “he ignored my text,” think about a photo that would interest him. No, not that type of photo. What’s interesting to him? What’s something he can comment on?
If you see a meme that relates to something they said, send it. If they love photos of your cute dog, that’s an option too. If you saw a picture of something they might like online, save it.
#3 Send a Link
If someone isn’t replying because there’s a lack of interesting conversation, another option is to send them an interesting link. Again, you need to make it something that’s useful or intriguing to them. And, it should be something they can comment on.
If you know they’re following news about something, share a recent article you came across. If they’re into baking, send them a fun recipe. If you know they’re on the hunt for a new sofa, send them a link to a suitable option.
#4 “Is Everything Ok?”
If you’re thinking “he’s ignored my text” and you’re not sure why, you can try subtly asking him. Since the outright question can feel awkward to ask, you can ask him in a different way: “Is everything ok?”
This question can mean a few different things. Is everything okay, did I say something wrong? Is everything okay, are you physically hurt and can’t text? Is everything okay between us?
This can prompt them to reply back saying that everything is okay and they’re available now. Or, you might learn that everything is not okay…
#5 “Just Wanted to Check…”
When we’re waiting for a text back, we want to “double text” but we don’t want to come off as pestering or overbearing. Using the phrase “Just wanted to check” is a gentle way to check-in with someone without pressure.
You can phrase this how you’d like depending on your situation or suspicions:
- Just wanted to check to make sure I didn’t say anything wrong? Please let me know if I did
- Just wanted to check if we’re still on for this Saturday night?
- Just wanted to check to see if we’re still ok?
This gives the person a clear question to respond to, making you more likely to receive a text back.
#6 Ask If They Want to Continue Talking
People rarely do this because it’s vulnerable. You might hear the truth and you might not like it. But at least you’ll know and be free to move on.
If you get the feeling like someone might not like you anymore, or that you’re being honest, you can kindly ask.
“Hey, just wondering if you wanted to continue talking? I understand if not, just don’t want to keep bothering you. Thanks J”
A simple message like that gets straight to the point without pressuring the person to say yes. They’re free to give an honest answering, allowing you to move on if needed. Plus, you can assume that the answer is “no” is you don’t receive a reply. That’s because if someone wanted to talk to you, they’d definitely make it known after this question.
If the person wants to cut ties, respect that. Remember that nobody owes you a reply.
#7 Address Communication Issues
Let’s say you’re in a long-term relationship or dating someone who frequently ignores your texts. One day, he’s the biggest fan of texting. And the next, you’re complaining to your friends “he ignored my text!”
Sometimes, no-texting periods are normal. For example, somebody may be busy or just not in the mood. If this happens frequently and it’s bothering you though, you should address it.
Although it can be uncomfortable, be vulnerable about how you feel. Tell your partner that when they don’t reply, you feel ignored. Explain the story you’re making up about not receiving a text back. This gives them an opportunity to explain the reason for their non-response. When you understand the reason, you can look for ways to better communicate.
Let’s say you figure out they’re not texting back because work is busy. To help you feel better, perhaps you agree that they text beforehand when they know the workday will be busy. Or, maybe you accept that periods of silence will happen and now that you know the reason, you don’t need to worry.
#8 Don’t Play Games
I’ll admit, I’ve been someone to send blank texts and fake pocket-dial or even pocket-text. It’s not mature though. Or appropriate. If we play games, we will get the energy of game-playing back.
If the ideas listed here don’t work and you still don’t receive a reply, don’t look for dishonest solutions. As soon as you go into game-playing mode, that should be a sign that the relationship is headed in the wrong direction. In this case, instead of trying to get a text back, cut the tie and try to move on. Remember, nobody owes you a text back.
Summary: Getting a Reply When He Ignored My Text
Before you try to get a reply back from an ignored text, try to first brainstorm why someone isn’t responding. Could they be busy? If so, often giving the situation time is the best solution. If it keeps happening, you’ll want to address communication issues as a whole.
Other times, a simple push can get the conversation going again. Use the prompts in this article to get a text back when someone is ignoring you. Remember, don’t play games unless you want your relationship to be one.