Grief is an emotion that actually encompasses a variety of emotions. Whether you’ve lost a person, relationship, job or a part of yourself—the roller coaster of feelings can seem endless.
During this time of intense change and stress, some people turn to crystals for grief. These stones are said to help carry the burden of loss and alleviate emotional pain.
Keep reading to discover 18 crystals for grief and how to use them.
Table of Contents
Different Types of Grief
When we think about grief, we most often think about someone we love dying. But grief is an emotion involved in many life events, not just death. This is important to realize because it means you can use your crystals for grief for a variety of other stressors.
Think about it this way: Grief is the response to loss. That loss can be anything, anyone or a way of thinking.
You may experience grief over:
- The most traditional form of grief is that after a loved one passes.
- A sick loved one. Even though your loved one is still alive, you know the end is nearing and there’s no changing it.
- A breakup. Even though your ex-partner isn’t dead, they’re dead to you and that grief can be powerful. (Also read 7 Crystals to Help with Heartbreak, Breakups and Divorce)
- Someone who’s still alive. You can also experience grief for someone who’s still alive and will continue to be in your life. You might realize that there’s a certain aspect or thing you want from someone that you’ll never receive. That process can induce grief. For example, let’s say you always wanted your brother to be protective and kind instead of rude and abrasive. You realize that after decades, you can’t change who he is. You might experience grief over the version of your brother you wanted.
- An illusion of someone. Sometimes we think someone is different than who they really are. When the illusion drops, we don’t grieve the actual person, but the illusion they created (or that we created for them). For example, you may be dating someone who you think is kind and charming. But the veil drops and you realize they’re emotionally abusive. In this case, you’d be grieving the illusion they portrayed. When you leave that person, the grief can be more confusing because there’s an aspect of dishonesty.
- Loss of a job. People also feel grief when they lose a job. This is because it affects your life and how you identify yourself. Shaking this foundation can lead to intense emotions which are a part of grief.
- Something that never was. Many people feel immense pain after the end of a situationship. It can feel silly to feel so badly over someone who wasn’t even your partner. But that still counts as grief because you’re losing something that was important to you.
- Something you’d hoped for. Grief can also be felt when you lose something you had hoped for. For example, let’s say you dreamed of being somewhere different in your life and you’re not. Grief is felt when you accept the reality of being where you are instead of where you wanted to be.
- Something you never received. You can have grief over the parts of your life that you should have received more but didn’t. During the process of grief, you accept that you didn’t get what you needed and that you can’t change it. This form of grief is common when adults assess their troubled childhood. For example, you may have grief over the fact you didn’t have a loving family and you can’t change that.
- Over a part of yourself. Strangely enough, you can also grieve the loss of a part of yourself. Let’s say something traumatic happened to you and it changed you as a person. Instead of being happy-go-lucky, you’re more careful and cautious. In this case, you might grieve the part of yourself that was openly trusting and unaware of the world’s dangers.
Identifying what you’re experiencing grief can help you select the right crystals for grief. For example, if your grief involves a love relationship, you can also look at 12 Powerful Crystals For Love And Healing Romantic Grief. If you’re grieving a part of yourself lost after trauma, along with therapy and grief crystals, you can also consider 10 Crystals for Trauma: Crystals for Anxiety and PTSD.
Stages of Grief
When we think about the process of grief, it can be best described by the stages as outlined by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her book On Death and Dying (a great read for anyone going through grief). When we understand which stage we’re currently in, we can choose crystals that help us through that specific struggle.
The Kübler-Ross model of grief consists of 5 stages. These 5 stages don’t always happen in progression. Instead, you may float back and forth between stages throughout your grief journey. Below are the 5 stages:
- Denial- Thoughts might include, “this isn’t happening” or “nothing has changed, I feel fine.” You might feel that things are unreal because you’re not yet able to process the reality of the loss.
- Anger- Thoughts may include, “How could this happen?” or “It’s unfair this happened.” You might also feel the need to blame someone or something, even the person you lost.
- Bargaining- Thoughts may include, “If I do x, can you postpone z?” or “I will give up everything to change the outcome.” Usually you’re not bargaining with anyone but rather the idea that life can throw you a bone and avoid the loss or take it back. You might feel that giving up something will lead to you avoiding the pain of grief.
- Depression- Thoughts may include “I’m so depressed, what’s the point anymore?” or “Why continue when I lost this person/thing I loved so much.” Although a painful stage, it’s necessary to go through. Feeling depression signals that we’re starting to accept the finality of the loss. To fully process the event, we must understand the loss and the gravity of it usually brings depression. It’s important to sit with it for a bit instead of ushering it out with “toxic positivity.” However, if you feel unable to emerge from the stage of depression, it’s important to talk to your doctor about local mental health resources. Unfortunately, grief depression can turn into a clinical depression.
- Acceptance- After the period of depression, there’s usually an acceptance of the loss. Although it still hurts, you see the possibility of life after. Thoughts may include, “this hurts, but I’m going to be ok” or “I know a loss is coming and I can’t change it.”
Read through the stages again and try to identify which you’re currently in. Although that may change tomorrow, knowing how you feel can help you choose a crystal.
Do Crystals for Grief Work to Ease Pain?
When you’re in the trenches of despair, will crystals for grief help you?
The answer is maybe. Many people believe the energy from crystals can lend a helping hand, helping to ease the burden. Other people say that crystals work because of the placebo effect—that is, if you think something will work, it will.
The most important thing to realize is that crystals are a spiritual tool and do not replace evidence-based or expert-backed advice. If you’re experiencing grief, it’s probably more helpful to speak to a mental health professional. These experts can help you find coping tools to work through and ease your grief.
If you can’t afford the help of a mental health professional, you can ask your local health community center for free or low-cost resources. There are also evidence-based coping mechanisms that you can learn at home for free. Here are a few resources to get started:
- 6 Coping Skills to Work Through Grief
- Bereavement Strategies – Coping with Grief and Loss
- Coping with Grief and Loss
- 5 Healthy Strategies for Coping With Grief
With that being said, alongside the advice, you can also try crystals if you feel inspired.
18 Crystals for Grief
When you’re thinking about choosing crystals for grief, you may choose one to keep alongside you and provide comfort throughout. Another idea is to make your own “crystals for grief pack.” This pack could consist of several crystals, each serving a different purpose as you travel through the various stages of grief.
Rose Quartz
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Depression, Acceptance
Rose quartz is a popular option for crystals for grief. Its gentle energy can help usher in the love you need to carry through. It can bring hope into situations and help you garner a sense of self-compassion. That is, having understanding for yourself as you go through this difficult time in life.
Rose quartz can also be helpful in dealing with love lost. This could be a romantic breakup or the loss of a family member you loved deeply. It can help bridge the gaps by reminding you love is inside yourself.
Amethyst
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Anger, Bargaining
Amethyst is best known as an anti-anxiety stone. If your grief is accompanied by feelings of stress or anxiety, amethyst is one of the top crystals for grief to consider. For example, if you’re stressed about making after-death arrangements or your life changing after a breakup, amethyst can help calm your heart and mind.
It’s also a good choice if you’re having trouble sleeping or experiencing nightmares.
Lepidolite
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Acceptance
Lepidolite is another great crystal for grief if you need anti-anxiety effects. Lepidolite is rich in lithium, which is an anti-anxiety medication. Although Lepidolite is not a medication, some people believe the effects of lithium transfer to them while they’re holding the stone. It’s thought to elicit feelings of calmness, even in intense moments of grief.
Lepidolite is also said to help optimism. In the later stages of your grief journey, you may start to find meaning in the loss. Although this doesn’t make grief feel better, it provides room within the feeling to transform the event. Lepidolite helps you to find those transformations. For example, even though the grief is tremendous, maybe you feel you’ve gained inner strength and compassion for others throughout it.
Apache Tears
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: All stages
Even as the name suggests, Apache Tears can help you ease your sorrows. According to Melody in Love Is In The Earth, Apache tears is considered one of the tears of Indigenous women who mourned over warriors. It’s used for comfort after death, allowing you to feel your emotions and process them properly.
Apache Tears is also said to encourage forgiveness and release grudges, both of which can be helpful if the loss involves anger, dishonesty or betrayal.
Clear Quartz
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: All stages
Clear Quartz is a great all-around crystal that can amplify whatever your intention is. If your intention is to go through the grief process, clear quartz can meet you where you’re at. Ask it to help you through whichever stage of grief you’re struggling with.
You can also place clear quartz around your other crystals for grief to help intensify those healing energies.
Moonstone
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Anger, Depression, Acceptance
Moonstone is another gentle stone. It has an energy similar to a loving mother who wants the best for you and will help you through anything. It can help during times of depression and anger, guiding you to safely feel your emotions instead of avoiding them or numbing them with substances.
Although a great choice for crystals for grief, it’s also a powerful crystal for change. Life during grief can bring a lot of new beginnings, which can be overwhelming. Moonstone helps ease us through those shifts.
Black Onyx
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Anger, Bargaining Depression,
Black Onyx is typically thought of as a protection stone, but its grounding qualities can be extremely helpful during grief. When you’re going through the change of loss, it may be easy to disassociate and have feelings of denial. Onyx helps ground us in reality, which is the first step to working through the grief process.
As a great crystal for grief, it also is particularly helpful through depression, helping you to ease emotional stress.
Pink Botswana Agate
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
Pink Botswana Agate is a good option for crystals for grief because its loving energy can help ease emotional burdens. If the loss has triggered a decline in your self-confidence, Pink Botswana Agate may also help mend that gap by teaching you self-compassion. In addition, it can also be a comforting stone, similar to the energy of a best friend; something you could benefit from during grief.
This stone is also said to help those who feel lonely, scared and lost. Since these are often feelings that pop up throughout the grief stages, Pink Botswana agate can be a great companion.
Larvikite
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression
Larvikite has an iridescent quality similar to labradorite. Its sheen can be seen as symbolic of grief. It’s all very dark but when a certain spot catches the sun, its beautiful glimmer is revealed. Similarly, grief is gloomy but can teach us lessons that transform us into beautiful people.
According to Judy Hall in the Crystal Bible, larvikite is known as Norwegian moonstone. As we talked about above, moonstone is one of the most powerful stones for grief. Likewise, larvikite is the darker version, providing the same benefits, working particularly well with darker emotions.
Some people call this the stone of inner transformation. This can be useful when the loss you’re experiencing is bringing about a myriad of changes. It can give you the strength to power through incoming storms.
Manganite
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
Although a more rare stone, manganite can be one of the most effective crystals for grief. According to Melody in Love Is In The Earth, manganite can help you release grief in relationships that are controlling. It can help you to find self-respect and break attachments that are unhealthy. This black stone can be most helpful in toxic relationships where a sense of grief looms knowing an expiry date is nearby.
Peridot
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Depression, Acceptance
Peridot can be a helpful stone to keep in your crystals for grief kit. It can help you understand the changes you’re experiencing and come to terms with them.
In Love Is In The Earth, Melody says Peridot helps regulate life cycles, which can be helpful when you’re dealing with the death of a loved one. It can help you accept that all life eventually dies and its energy transforms into something greater.
Smoky Quartz
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression,
Smoky Quartz is another one of the crystals for grief that can be symbolic of your experience. Just like the crystal, your life since loss may seem to be discolored with a dark hue over it. Fortunately, Smokey quartz can provide grounding qualities that help you to accept reality without it knocking you over.
This stone is best known for its effects on depression, fear and negativity. It can help you come to terms with your negative emotions without using “toxic positivity” to ignore them. This can help you fully process your grief, allowing you to see the other side sooner.
Selenite
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: All stages
Selenite is a crystal that cleanses the other crystals around it. This can be a great stone to have around during periods of grief, when other crystals might get “tired out” quickly.
Try keeping your crystals for grief on a piece of selenite to constantly cleanse them. You can also simply place your crystals around a piece of selenite after a long day. This can be particularly useful during the beginning stages of grief when our emotions are overwhelming and the clarity of a crystal can be most helpful.
Black Tourmaline
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression
Black tourmaline is a great crystal for any intense emotion, including grief. As one of the most powerful crystals for grief, it’s most helpful during the dark nights of the soul. It can help you deal with the negative energies associated with denial, anger, bargaining and depression. As a protective crystal, black tourmaline can also be helpful to carry during funerals. It can help protect you from other’s negative energies so that you only feel your own grief.
Dalmatian Jasper
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
Dalmatian jasper is known to be a grounding stone that can help you come to terms with the reality of loss. As symbolized through its black and white pattern, it can help you realize that life isn’t all good or all bad. While you’re going through an “all bad” period right now, the good will return again eventually.
Citrine
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Acceptance
Citrine is not often thought of as a crystal for grief. That’s because it’s most commonly associated with positive emotions like happiness, joy and self-confidence. But depending on where you are in your journey, citrine might be a powerful stone for grief.
If you’ve gone through your most dark nights of the soul during your grief journey and you’re emerging the other side, try citrine. This stone can amplify the positive energies you already have created yourself. It can help you regain your sense of joy in the world. It can bring to light all that was dimmed after the loss. Perhaps most beneficially, it can help you have hope about your future.
Rhodonite
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Depression, Acceptance
Rhodonite is another pink crystal that can warm your heart chakra and help ease you through loss. As with other pink crystals for grief, it can help usher in feelings of self-compassion and understanding. It can help you accept the loss while also accepting your struggle throughout it. It sits beside you during tough moments and whispers, “it’s normal to feel this deeply and you won’t always feel this way.”
Malachite
Crystal for grief stage recommendation: Denial, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance
Out of the crystals for grief, malachite is lesser known. In Love Is In The Earth, Melody calls Malachite the “stone of transformation.” This can be helpful if the loss is creating endless changes in your life. While difficult to deal with, malachite can help guide you through them.
As a green stone, it’s also connected to the heart chakra, making it a good choice for any type of grief. It’s also known to help you work through difficult emotions like depression, anxiety and other types of emotional pain.
How to Use Crystals for Grief
You can use crystals for grief in a variety of ways. Below are a few suggestions.
- You can simply display crystals around your home. Keep them where you feel your grief most intensely, such as the bedroom or a spot that reminds you of the other person.
- Keep on you. Keep your favorite crystal for grief on you throughout the day. You can do this by placing it in your pocket, purse or even in your bra.
- Journal about your grief while keeping one of your favorite crystals for grief by your side.
- Hold a crystal for grief in your hand while doing a mediation. You can simply breathe deeply or follow a meditation for grief.
- Make a grief bookmark. Make a bookmark using one of your best crystals for grief. Then use the bookmark to read books to help you through grief.
- Make a crystal grid. Make a crystal grid dedicated to healing through your grief process. Get Free Crystal Grid Templates here.
- Make an altar. Dedicate an altar to working through grief. Use your crystals for grief, dried flowers and herbs, candles and symbols or items that remind you of the person or situation you lost.
- Bring to therapy. Grief is often eased through therapy. Try bringing a crystal to your next session to facilitate healing.
Summary: Crystals for Grief
If you’re going through grief of any type, it’s important to seek evidence-based coping mechanisms before using spiritual tools. Crystals for grief, whether their energy or a placebo effect, can be helpful for some people dealing with grief. Choose a crystal above and try it to see how it works for you.
